


it's gotta be you

by timefornothing



Category: One Direction
Genre: College AU, F/M, M/M, also kind of crazy, but tons of fun, it's pretty great actually, there's drinking and music and songwriting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 19:27:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1910916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timefornothing/pseuds/timefornothing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the boys attend a university and are trying to start a band. however, it’s not really going as planned, so they ask some friends for help. louis might start dating the wrong girl and liam might love that girl who might have dated niall who kinda loves the girl he always yells at who is best friends with perrie who is dating zayn who thinks harry’s an idiot because he might be in love with louis. it’s a complete mess, but everyone ends up with who they’re meant to be with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's gotta be you

**Author's Note:**

> the description is shit but it's better i promise!!
> 
> thanks to all of you who read this, it took me like six months.
> 
> love all of you. 
> 
> for my sister <3

“No, no. That’s completely horrible.”

“Well maybe it would be better if I had some actual lyrics instead of this pining, whiney, baby, fourteen year old Bieber shit!” Louis sassed back, tossing the sheets of paper behind him with flair. He stared Liam down, eyes narrowed in the way Louis does when he’s angry and for good reason.

Liam’s hands went to his hips, “Why don’t you try helping out sometime, then? Instead of leaving all the lyrics and music to Harry and I, you could do something other than fucking sit on your ass all day.”

Everyone quieted then, looking back and forth between each other. Liam rarely cursed, and when he did, you knew it was serious. Realizing the alarm he had caused, he sighed, looking at each and every boy in the room with him. Louis continued watching him with his eyebrows raised, hip popped to one side with the sassy flair that he carried with him easily. His hair was still tousled and messy from their soccer match earlier, blue eyes indignant and sparkling as he waited for the scene to play out. 

Just behind him sat Niall, one of his best friends since coming to Oxman Canal University, with the acoustic guitar balanced carefully in his lap. His blonde hair was sticking in all directions, mud covering his socks and even making a splatter across his face. He was the goalie for their intramural team, so it made sense he’d have mud in more places than Liam and Louis combined. Despite being muddy and a little worn-out, his deep blue eyes were still bright, looking at everyone in the room and no doubt wondering when the next time he’d be eating was.

On Niall’s left was Harry, who still clutched tightly to the papers in his hands. He was watching Louis, biting his lip in what seemed like worry. He ran his hands through his dark brown, curly hair one more time, tearing his green gaze away and looking finally to Liam, slowly. Everything Harry did was slow, purposeful, well thought out. Especially the lyrics he wrote down. He had a few moments of genius, but he and Liam both knew that four lines of absolute perfection weren’t enough to get them through an entire song.

A slow sigh leaked out of pursed lips, and Liam flicked his line of vision over to Zayn, who was sitting on the floor next to the drum set, leaning back against a rather large cabinet. The dark hair and dark eyes suited the drummer, easily making him the most mysterious of Liam’s friends. Only, he wasn’t so mysterious, so much as quiet and thoughtful. And Liam could only hope to guess at what was running through his mind at this moment.

“Look, I’m sorry about that.” Liam said quietly, trying to reign in his outburst. “But I think everyone knows that silly lyrics about love and mediocre melodies aren’t going to cut it anymore. When we started this summer, girls were still all over us because of our swoopy hair and boy band looks. You know? But it’s different now. I mean, just take a look at our hair.” He gestured to everyone, then set his hands loosely by his sides. “We’re maturing. And the problem is, our music isn’t. Or we don’t know how to help it along, I suppose.” He shook his head, realizing he was kind of rambling. Which he had a tendency to do, because, well, he was Liam, he was a talker, a fixer. A “father figure”, if you will. “What I’m trying to say is, I think we need help. To get our band going in the direction we really want it to.”

“Did you say direction only because our band is named One Direction?” Louis asked, eyebrows raising even further, if that was possible.

“No. Well—“ Liam cracked a smile, “Not on purpose, at least.” He looked around to everyone again. “Do you all see what I’m getting at? About needing to do better if we want this to go anywhere?” He waited for everyone to nod or say something, then looked to Niall. “Niall, alright, you know that girl in our Music Theory class, the one our professor basically drools over every time she turns in original work? And like, she was around this summer at some of the gigs and parties?” He didn’t say _the girl I’m always staring at_ or _the girl I almost tried to kiss when drunk_ but both would have worked just as well as what actually came out.

He furrowed his light eyebrows, “You mean Jackie?”

“Yeah, her. You’re good friends with her right?”

Niall nodded, “Yeah, we’ve been friends since middle school.” He cocked his head, “Why, do you want to ask her for help?”

Liam nodded, attempting to ignore the warm feeling growing in his stomach. He had always thought Jackie was attractive, but this had nothing to do with her adorable laugh or bright smile. This was strictly business. “If our professor loves her that much, she must be really good, yeah? I’d say she’s probably the best in our class. Why don’t you ask her and see if she’s interested in writing a few more songs with us? I think it could be really good. Remember that one she helped out with this summer?” 

Niall nodded, pulling out his phone, and Louis spoke up, “What about Alice? On our soccer team?” He shrugged, losing his offensive stance he had taken during the outburst. “She’s a Music Production major like us, and she’s decent in our studio performance class. I think she’s good friends with Jackie as well. ”

Liam shrugged, eyes lighting up as he began thinking it through. “Yeah! We don’t have another match until next week. Why don’t we invite them to our practice tomorrow, and we’ll see how it goes? Kind of like a trial session. Harry, you live in her hall, right?”

He nodded, and Liam continued, “Ask her to come along. It’s good to have a few opinions and stuff. We’ll get the ball rolling and then see where it goes.” The boys around him nodded, and Niall stood up.

“So, if no one minds, I’m starving.” He grabbed his stomach for effect, “And the dining halls close in thirty minutes. So I’d say we’re done here for the day, and we can all go grab some dinner?” The group laughed and agreed, grabbing bags of soccer clothes and notebooks before hustling out the door. Liam looked around at the group, all laughing together. He’d been wanting to start a band for his entire life basically, and had only found out about these boys going into university at the same year through Facebook. Once they met up for the first time, it was instant chemistry. They all met up for a weekend at Harry’s step-dad’s cabin in Northern California, and One Direction was born. While they played a few gigs in backyards and at parties, and one at a bar downtown, it was just small stuff, nothing like Liam had planned for them. Sure, the girls were plenty and always showed up, but it had all changed once they had gone to school.

Louis clapped him on the back, “Our room is going to smell tonight, Payno! I didn’t wear socks with my cleats again!” Liam made a sound of disgust, yelling at Niall to see if he had any extra febreeze. With another round of laughter, Liam calmed his churning insides. They could make it. He knew they would. They just had to figure out how to make it work.

And hopefully, these girls would be the leading factor to turn them around and make them to be the stars he knew they were destined to be.

 

*****

 

“Jackie! Open the door!”

A few more knocks, then another shout, “Jackie Winter! I know for a fact all you’re doing is sitting in there with your bottle of whiskey and writing songs! And maybe painting! But either way, you need to open the goddamn door for your best friend!” The blonde huffed, turning to look to her companion. “I’m sorry. She’s not always like this. You know how the theater and art students are always moody and claim to be ‘needing inspiration’?” The other one nodded, and the first blonde smiled. “Well, she’s ten times worse, and twenty times more sarcastic.” The door flew open, revealing a brunette with tousled hair and a rather large flannel draped on.

“I don’t appreciate you telling lies to people I don’t even know, Alice.” Jackie told her with a mocking smile. “And I’m not needing inspiration! For your information, I have plenty of inspiration, I just keep being interrupted by the likes of you when I’m trying to write.” She glanced quickly up and down the hallway, then back to the blondes in front of her. “Come on, get in here before the RA discovers my alcoholic habit.” The girls hurried inside, Jackie quickly closing the door.

Alice glanced around the room, still marveling at how someone could be so messy yet so organized. Jackie had somehow lucked out by being placed in a double, (one of the larger rooms, even) yet her roommate never showed. The name tag on the door said Holly, but no Holly was to be found. They were four weeks into the semester, yet Jackie still had the room to herself, and she took full advantage of it. Her coffee maker and school supplies and books were on the desk on the nearest wall, paintings and papers with words scribbled on them pasted all over the walls. Her laptop, currently blasting the Ed Sheeran pandora station, was balanced precariously on the chair. The bottom bunk was neatly made, seemingly looking more like a place where Jackie hung out, and the top bunk was a mess of pillows and blankets, making it look like she slept in a nest. Her desk, right underneath the window, was absolutely covered with papers and paints and random scraps, showing clearly that her thought process was no more organized than her bed. A strange potted plant was standing in the corner, about waist height with the name tag “Duke” printed neatly on the side. Christmas lights were draped around the top of the walls of the room, circling it and giving it a feel of home and warmth. Alice was almost positive she hung out in Jackie’s room more than her own just down the hall.

“Aren’t we not allowed to have candles in the dorms…?” The quiet blonde finally spoke up, looking from the candle to the whiskey and finally to Jackie. 

Jackie merely gave her a mischievous grin. “Candles are strictly forbidden! But hey, haven’t been caught yet.” She sat on a cushy stool in the middle of the room, one of those square things you’d find in a Target or Walmart where you could store stuff in them. She poured more whiskey into her solo cup, then looked back to the girls in her room. “So, Alice, care to introduce me to this girl before I scare her away with my rule-breaking?”

Alice grinned, moving a few papers so she could sit on the bottom bunk. “Remember how my roommate moved out last week?” She didn’t wait for Jackie to answer, “Well, this is my new one. I helped her move in today. Her name’s Perrie Edwards, and she transferred from Scallion University, which is in Oregon.” She turned to smile at Perrie, “Perrie, this is my best friend since move-in day, Jackie Winter.”

Perrie turned again to Jackie, smiling. Jackie’s brunette hair was being twisted into a side braid as she balanced her solo cup on her knee. Her green eyes seemed to sparkle in the midst of her face as she shouted a greeting. There were paint marks up and down her arm, a pen still tucked behind her ear from when she had been interrupted by the two blondes. She seemed completely contrasting to Alice, a yang to her yin. Alice was blonde and short, brown eyes quiet and warm. She was put together, hair neatly in place and clothes unwrinkled. And to think she had gotten done with a soccer match just forty minutes ago! With an inward sigh, Perrie was thankful that she seemed to be in the middle of the two extremes. 

“Nice to meet you!” She said, and Jackie held out the bottle to her, “Care for a drink?”

“Jackie! It’s Tuesday!” Alice protested.

Jackie shrugged, making an unamused face, “And tomorrow is Wednesday, thank you Rebecca Black. Now, does anyone want a drink?”

Before anyone could respond, Jackie’s phone buzzed, screen lighting up with a new text. 

“Alice, toss me my phone, would ya?” Jackie asked, and Alice reached for the phone, squealing when she read who it was from.

“Niall texted you!” She practically threw the phone at Jackie, eyes wide and eager. “What did it say?!”

“Calm your hormones!” Jackie laughed, unlocking her phone.

Perrie looked back and forth between the girls, sitting on the floor. “Who’s Niall?”

“Ex-boyfriend from High School, and Alice’s not-so-subtle crush.” Jackie answered quickly, and Alice sighed.

“Jackie dated him in High School, and they decided they were better off as best friends this summer.” She gave a small smile, “He’s been over a few times, and I think he’s cute, and that’s it.” She shot Jackie a look, “I definitely do not have a crush on him. He’s just really nice.”

Jackie snorted, “Well, then you’re definitely not going to be jealous of what he texted me then.”

“What did he say?” Alice’s eyes widened again, hopping off of the bed. Jackie laughed loudly, the infectious sound causing Perrie to smile.

“He asked if I’d come help his band out, writing music and stuff.” Jackie grinned, wiggling her eyebrows up and down at Alice, “Which basically means I’m going to be hanging out with him all the time.” Alice frowned and hit Jackie with one of the pillows that lay on the floor, only making Jackie laugh harder. Perrie grinned, watching the two girls squabble about Niall. 

“So who all’s in this band?” Perrie asked when they had quieted down after Jackie threatened to pour her whiskey on Alice’s shirt if she didn’t shut up.

“Well, Niall, obviously.” Jackie answered with a snort, and Alice hit her on the arm again, giving her a look. Then she turned to continue answering the question, “Remember Harry? The guy who lives across from us, in the room with Bryce?” Perrie nodded, and Alice smiled, “He’s really cool. Kinda quiet, but he’s in the band. Some really loud kid named Louis, Niall’s best friend, Liam, and this other quiet kid named Zayn. He’s hot, too. Well, they’re all kinda hot.” 

Jackie let out a puff of air, “The things I’d do to those boys…” Causing Perrie to giggle and Alice to swat at her again. 

A knock at the door made them pause, and Jackie shrieked, “Who’s interrupting my writing process now?”

“Um…” A slow answer finally came through. “I, uh, I was looking for Alice? I guess? And she wasn’t in her room, so…I figured, you know, that she’d be in here. Because she usually is.”

Jackie smirked, standing. “Well, here’s the slow-speaking devil himself.” She whipped open the door, smiling up at the curly haired boy. Perrie watched him, watched his cautious green gaze turn to a smiling one as he asked Jackie, “Have you been painting again? You’re absolutely covered in it.”

“I have! Great observation, Styles.” She stepped aside, beckoning him in. “The gangs all here! Minus your crazy boys, that is.” She shut the door, returning to her stool while Harry stood awkwardly by the desk. “Want some whiskey?”

He merely grinned again. “What, tequila Tuesday wasn’t good enough?”

Jackie stuck her tongue out, “I’m a woman of class! I only drink the highest quality drinks. Tequila is not becoming of a woman.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Jack Daniels isn’t exactly becoming of a woman either.”

She grinned, “Shut up and grab your cup.” Harry turned and plucked a solo cup off the stack on the far desk, waiting until his drink was poured before turning to Perrie, who had stood when he walked in.

“Hullo! I’m Harry.” He offered his hand to shake, and she took it, “I’m Perrie, I just transferred here.”

“Really?” He glanced to Alice, “Is that why your room was so messy? I’ve never seen things out of place before!” Alice laughed, “Hey to you, too, Harry. And yeah, Perrie’s my new roommate.”

“Enough with the introductions!” Jackie interrupted, “Why were you looking for Alice?” 

Harry tightened up one of the rolled sleeves on his green flannel, “Oh! Um, so at band practice today, you know, we were all sitting and just sort of, you know, talking, and—“

“Speak quicker or I’m taking your drink away.”

Harry grinned at Jackie, then continued, “Basically, Liam said we needed help writing songs. So I was sent to ask if Alice wanted to come help us!”

“No way!” Alice grinned, then pointed at Jackie, “Niall just texted her and asked the same thing!”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, that was Liam’s idea.” He turned to Perrie, eyebrows slightly raised. “You’re welcome to come as well! You could watch, or something. But we won’t exclude you, I promise.”

“She’s a music production major as well.” Alice offered with a shrug, “Maybe she could help. Can’t let Jackie have all the fun!” Jackie laughed again, and Perrie and Harry both visibly relaxed. Perrie, because Jackie’s laughed calmed her. It was warm and bubbly, like the sound of tea and honey, if it had a noise. And it made her feel more welcome. Harry relaxed because Jackie was simply laughing. The noise often echoed down the hall at odd times of the night and throughout the day, and she was like a big sister to everyone in the hall, even to the few upperclassmen who lived here. If she was laughing, that meant people were happy, and it always helped to ease his mind. He tried so hard to be nice to everyone, not having a mean bone in his body. He really looked up to her. In essence, Jackie was everything that Harry wanted to be, and by hearing her laugh now, he knew that he had made a good offer to include Perrie as well.

“So what time is practice tomorrow?” Alice asked, ever on the responsible side of things.

“We all get done with classes around two, so we’ll meet at 2:30 in the rehearsal hall. Room 32.” Harry answered, for once having his response quickly. 

“We’ll see ya there!” Jackie smiled, and Harry nodded, downing the rest of his drink.

“Sounds good! I gotta go help Bryce with his French homework.” Harry sighed. “I may be back later for another drink, if it goes as poorly as it has in the past.”

Jackie grinned and raised the bottle, “I still got over half a bottle! The night is young, Styles, you’re welcome back anytime!” Harry laughed one more time before exiting, and as soon as the door was shut, Perrie turned to look at the two girls.

“If that was any indicator as to how cute the rest of them are, then yes, I am definitely coming along tomorrow.” 

Jackie and Alice laughed, and Perrie grinned. Transferring had definitely been one of the better decisions she’d made.

 

*****

 

“So where are our saviors, Liam?” Louis asked for the fifth time in six minutes. “If they’re going to be so wonderful, why can’t they at least be on time?”

Liam rolled his eyes, knowing Louis wasn’t actually mad, just trying to give him a hard time. “To be fair, the room is kind of hard to find.” And it was. It was in one of the long, empty, forgotten hallways in the back of the Music Performance building. Not only that, but it was the last one in the hallway, save for the janitorial closet.

“Jesus, it’s like a fucking maze back in here!” The boys turned to look at the entrance to the room after hearing the voice echo through. Niall smirked, “That’s Jackie. Gotta be.”

As if he was announcing her, a brunette seemed to burst into the room even though there wasn’t a door to burst through. She gazed around the room, her two blonde companions trailing in more easily behind her. “I assume we’re in the right place, judging by Niall’s forlorn look of not having any food near.”

Niall laughed, walking forward to wrap her in a hug. Jackie grinned, hugging him right back, “Good to see you, Nialler.”

“Always a pleasure, Jack!” He clapped her on the back, then turned to gesture to the rest of the boys. “Come meet One Direction! Formally, at least.” He walked them forward, pointing to each boy as he spoke their name. “You probably remember them from this summer. You know Liam, right? He’s in our Music Theory class. He plays guitar with me, and a little piano, and a little bit of everything. That’s Louis, he plays bass and piano when he’s not too busy giving us a hard time. You know Harry of course, vocal extrordinare. And that there’s Zayn! He’s our drummer. I’m sure you’ve seen him somewhere, he’s into the same weird artsy shit as you.”

Jackie grinned, “That I have. Nice to finally meet you boys when I’m not one of those crazy girls in the audience or we’re not all drunk in the soccer frat house playing pong.” The boys laughed and waved good-naturedly, Louis calling out, “I still demand a rematch!”

“So hey!” Jackie turned and pulled both the girls forward. “Most of you know Alice. She’s a double major in Music Production and Dance. And this is Perrie.” Jackie threw an arm around her, “She just transferred here, she’s Alice’s new roommate. She’s a Music Production major as well, so we let her tag along.”

“It was my idea!” Harry protested, and Louis pinched his side, “You’re just saying that because she’s got a cute face.” Harry blushed, watching Louis’ smile.

“Now that the introductions are over,” Niall turned back to Liam, clasping his hands, “Wanna explain why they’re here? My text was kinda vague, and I’m assuming Harry didn’t say too much last night, judging by his hangover this morning in Sociology.” Jackie laughed then, and Harry noticed with glee the way everyone else seemed relaxed by the sound as well, even if the laughter was directed at him.

“Well, sure! Uh, here, you’re welcome to sit anywhere.” Liam pushed a chair over to Jackie, who sat in it with a smirk on her face. He really really hoped the smirk wasn’t because she recognized him from that party at the beginning of the year. He wrung his hands in front of him, moving them as he spoke, “So, the reason we asked you here is because as a band, we feel we are lacking in the original sound department.” Louis snorted something decidedly rude, and Liam chose to ignore him. “Niall and I have noticed that you’re brilliant at coming up with original pieces in our classes, and he’s told me before how you write songs that seem to be within our genre. We were wondering if maybe you’d be interested in becoming a lyricist for us, or even a songwriter.” He paused, then he finally noticed the two girls standing behind her. In a rush, he added, “And of course, Alice and Perrie are welcome as well. The more the merrier. And we’d help you too, you know, wouldn’t leave it all up to you just yet.”

Jackie stared at him, a small smile growing on her face. Unfortunately, Liam noticed how this didn’t help the twisting feeling within his gut, and he held her gaze as best he could, desperately hoping he was imagining the warm feeling in his cheeks. Finally, she spoke, “Honestly, I don’t see why not.”

“You’ll do it?” Niall burst out, eyes wide.

Jackie gave him a look, “Of course I would! Why wouldn’t I? This is what I wanna do when I grow up, you know? Why not get a head start and get some real world practice in? I’m sure Alice and Perrie feel the same way.”

Alice nodded, and Perrie agreed, “Yeah of course.”

“Now,” Jackie continued, “What exactly are we going for here? Like, what are your goals?” The boys all stared blankly at her, unsure of what she was asking. She sighed, “Look, if all you guys are looking for is for me to help you with songs, that’s great. Easy, even. But if you want this band to actually go somewhere, to get back to how popular you guys were this summer, it’s gonna take more than just a few good songs.”

Everyone was silent, thinking. Niall, arms crossed, looked at each of the boys, then back to Jackie. “I think I speak for everyone when I say how much we all loved doing what we did this summer, you know? And we’d love to do it again.”

“But,” Louis added, “What do you have in mind?”

Jackie leaned forward in her chair, “You guys are a boy band. No getting rid of that.” She raised her hand, stopping Louis before he could even start arguing. “But the thing is, why not run with it? You guys can be a kickass boy band, not some Bieber tribute band or whatever. So, Alice will work with you guys on your stage presence and what to do during songs and whatnot, since she’s fantastic at that. Perrie’s gonna help your style, because God knows you all suck at outfit coordination. And look at her, she’s practically a billboard for style and fashion. And we’ll all work on lyrics and songs and get the sound to backup the persona. It’ll be a whole project.” She grinned then, leaning back in her chair as she looked all of them in the eye. “Are you up to the challenge?”

“Fuck if we aren’t.” Louis snorted, stepping forward. “These boys are some of the most talented lads I know. If anyone can do it, it’s them.”

“I know.” Jackie agreed, voice light and a tad teasing as her triumphant smirk spread across her face. “That’s why I agreed to do it.”

 

*****

 

‘“I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away…” 

The song continued blasting off of her laptop that night, and Perrie’s voice belted out the words as she worked on folding her laundry. Alice was out at a late class, so Perrie took the opportunity to sing in their dorm room. She had been singing for as long as she could remember, although never in front of a crowd. She was too shy to ever go out for talent competitions, and was perfectly okay with keeping it as something she did behind closed doors.

The song ended, and Perrie nearly dropped the pair of socks she was holding as slow clapping sounded from behind her. She spun around in alarm, leaning back on the bed in relief when she saw it was only Jackie standing in the doorway. She had forgotten that Jackie had somehow managed to get a key to their room from housing.

“Jesus, Jackie. You nearly gave me a heart attack.” Perrie’s breath finally returned to normal, and she leaned over to turn her laptop down now that the next song had started.

“You’re really good.” Jackie responded, completely ignoring Perrie’s accusation. “Like, really good. Why aren’t you in the singing groups within our major?”

Perrie shrugged, folding a t-shirt carefully. “I dunno. I mean, I love singing, but I’m not really the performer type, you know?” 

“Huh. Weird.” Jackie watched her, eyes narrowed. “I mean, not weird about not wanting to perform, because I totally get that. I’m the same way. I’d rather be behind it than out in front. But…you’re really good. Are you gonna do something where you can sing in the future?”

“That’s a bit of a deep question for only meeting me yesterday.” Perrie snorted, arranging her t-shirts in a neater pile.

Jackie rolled her eyes, “Spare me of the stupid pre-best-friend conversations.” She walked across the room and sat on the end of Perrie’s bed, and Perrie couldn’t help but wonder if she was already tipsy or just one of those people who didn’t know what barriers and personal space were. “I prefer to just dive right in. That’s how you get to know them better. Have you had formal training? Like, vocal training?” Yeah, she definitely had no barriers when it came to asking questions of someone you literally met 24 hours ago.

Perrie nodded, smiling at Jackie’s complete lack of prudence. “Yeah, but I quit a few years ago when I realized I didn’t want to do much with it. But I really liked learning, so I’ve kind of been thinking about going into music education instead. Teach kids to love music the way I do, how to sing to the best of their ability.”

It was silent for a moment as Jackie simply sat and watched Perrie continue folding her laundry, unaware that she was kind of in the way of Perrie’s piles. Actually, she seemed perfectly aware: she just didn’t care. But Perrie didn’t mind. Jackie was kind of like a sibling and a pet all in one person: always underfoot, always nosey, but extremely caring and always interested.

“Be One Direction’s vocal coach.”

“What?” Perrie froze, staring at Jackie with her eyebrows raised.

“You heard me.” Jackie stared back, then sighed again, “Oh, come on. Like you and I both didn’t notice yesterday how those boys have absolutely no singing experience whatsoever. Except maybe Liam, he’s got a set of pipes. But come on!” Jackie scooted forward, moving the socks to the other side of the shirt pile. “Imagine if you got all of their vocals to tip top shape. Can you just imagine how good they’d be? What they’d sound like?” Perrie smiled to herself, picturing it in her head.

But then she shook her head, looking back to Jackie. “But I don’t know how to teach it, not yet at least.”

Jackie shrugged, “So? You know how you were taught. You know what feels good, how it sounds when the right stuff is coming out. You know how to be good, Perrie.” Jackie insisted, staring intently into Perrie’s eyes. “Help them be as good as you.”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Perrie giggled, and Jackie grinned at her, “So you’ll do it?”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess so.” Perrie rolled her eyes, “Now, will you please get off my laundry?” Jackie beamed, planting a friendly kiss on the side of her head before leaping off the bed and sprinting for the door.

“You’re a fantastic person, Perrie Edwards!” She shouted over her shoulder as she ran out. Perrie listened to her footsteps echo down the hallway before she skittered into her own room, then turned to look at her upturned laundry piles. With a small laugh, she went back to folding, picturing again in her head what it’d be like to help them, and picturing also the dark, mysterious eyes that belonged to Zayn Malik, the ones that had captured her interest and followed her all rehearsal long.

 

*****

 

The next day, Thursday, was their first real official day as helping out the band. Jackie made the announcement that Perrie was going to be their vocal coach, and the only one who didn’t seem to mind was Zayn. After a thorough verbal bashing from Jackie, the boys reluctantly agreed, although she excused Liam because he had vocal training in the past. While the boys went off one by one with Perrie (Zayn first), Alice took Harry and Niall off to the side because they seemed to be the most awkward on stage (at least according to Jackie). That left Liam and Louis sitting in the center of the room with Jackie, and Liam was more than pleased at the situation. 

“Explain your genre to me.” Jackie said, obnoxiously clicking her pen as she stared down at the blank notebook on her lap. Liam smirked as she insisted on sitting on the floor, ignoring the numerous benches and chairs around them. With her legs crossed underneath her, remnants of paint still on her arms and her playful grin, Liam thought she looked very much like a five year old.

“Harry’s gonna tell you he really likes rock music.” Louis answered, eyeing Jackie’s pen with a certain amount of annoyance. “Niall and Zayn are kinda down for whatever, but they seem to like more alternative songs, and Liam and I are willing to work with whatever sounds good.”

“I mean, we aren’t interested in sounding completely like Bieber,” Liam added quickly, eyes flicking from Jackie’s eyes to her lips to her hands and—stop it, Liam. Be professional. “But we know that the pop songs generally go over well. So, if something sounds good, we’re willing to work with it.”

Jackie nodded slowly, eyes not leaving her paper. “Alright. Do you guys have any lyrics in mind?” She looked up then, looking to Liam. “What songs have you written already?”

“They’re complete shit, don’t read those.” Louis sighed dramatically, leaning back against the piano behind him. Liam rolled his eyes, handing Jackie the few sheets of paper he had with him. 

“You already know the two original songs we had this summer—“

“—That I helped write.” Jackie interrupted, and Liam grinned.

“Yes, that you helped write, apparently. Thanks for that. And then we usually did covers. Since then, we’ve written only two more songs, and they aren’t exactly fantastic, save for a few lines.” He scratched the back of his head, “I feel like if we just adjusted a few of the lyrics, they’d be decent.”

“We can’t do decent, we gotta go big.” Jackie decided, setting the papers off to the side. “I’ll work on those later. Now, what do you guys like writing about?”

“Liam sounds like a male version of Taylor Swift.” Louis offered, and Jackie narrowed her eyes.

“If you aren’t going to be helpful, I’m sending you over to Perrie, because God knows your voice could use some fine tuning.” Louis shut his mouth then, and Liam hid his smile behind his hand.

“Ah, usually we write about girls.” Liam shrugged. “Like, being in love and stuff like that.”

Jackie smiled at him, “That’s a start!” Liam grinned back, eyes shining. Jackie was so much more fantastic in person than he could have imagined. Sure, he had known her this summer when she hung around with the boys because she was Niall’s friend, but he had never really gotten to know her. Throughout the band practice, he watched as she corrected people without hesitation, laughed whenever possible, and helped when she could. She was like a wonderful mix of Louis and Harry and Niall, taking all of their best qualities and throwing them together into a single person. He studied the way she worked with the lyrics he and Louis came up with, creatively switching them and changing them so they sounded even more better. In fact, it was sounding like an actual song now. And he couldn’t wait to see what she would do with the lyrics he had given her, easily taking the teasing she gave him and laughing at every sarcastic remark in Louis’ direction. He couldn’t help but feel that behind her brash and outgoing personality, she genuinely wanted the best for him and his bandmates, and that did nothing to quench the fire inside him.

Was he really developing a crush? Liam felt almost embarrassed by himself. He hadn’t really crushed on someone since he was what, 14? So why on earth would he start now?

Zayn and Perrie were a different story entirely. 

From the moment Perrie followed Jackie into the room the other day, Zayn hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of her. Her blonde hair fell down and around her face, in soft waves that it was apparent she had spent time making look good. Her soft white billowy shirt hung off of her in a way that contrasted perfectly to her tight, black skinny jeans, but Zayn’s eyes didn’t move much further than her face. He completely missed when Jackie introduced her to them, only catching her name.

Perrie.

It was short, it was cute, it was spunky, it was everything a name should be for someone like her. He let her name roll around in his mind, watching her and casually participating in the conversation when he felt was necessary. But other than that, his entire focus was reserved solely for her, and for her only.

“Zayn, come on.” Perrie snapped her fingers, blushing slightly as she caught Zayn staring.

He blinked a couple times, then, “Right, sorry. Could you show me again? I don’t think I get it.”

Perrie gave him a small smile, remaining perched on the stool while he stayed standing. “Yeah, sure. Excuse my lack of musical terminology, though. Okay, so you’ve got one of the more melodic voices, if you will. Jackie wants me to have you guys practice using the song Teenage Dirtbag, by Wheatus. Now, it’s an older song, but it’s really good, so I don’t know if you’ll know it, but—“

“Are you kidding me?” Zayn smiled, his ‘badboy’ face cracking into a grin that made Perrie blush a shade darker. “That’s one of my favorite songs, of course I know it.”

Perrie looked down at the lyrics in her lap, scribbled all over in different colors of pens by Jackie. “I’m glad! It’s one of my favorite songs as well. I uh, helped her pick it out.” 

“Well, it was a good choice.” Zayn kept his hands in his pockets, loving the way she looked right now. Her petite features lit up as she looked up at him again, “Thanks! Now, Jackie’s assigning you the accent part. It’s not the bridge, but it’s the part where you’re basically soloing the message of the chorus. So I’m calling it the accent.”

“Can you sing it for me?” He asked, and immediately his chest tightened as he caught her eye.

“Yeah, yeah I can.” She took a deep breath and sang quietly, “Oh yeah, dirtbag. No, she don’t know what she’s missing. Oh yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn’t know what she’s missing.” She cleared her throat, sitting up straighter suddenly, “Except, you’ll sing it louder, yeah? So, try it.”

And he did. And he listened to absolutely every instruction she gave him with a small smile and a nod, loving how with one smile he could make her blush.

Alice, on the opposite side of the room, up on the little makeshift stage, was as far from blushing as she could get. 

“You guys are hopeless.”

“Hey, I have a bad knee!” Niall protested, not liking that his entire way of walking was being corrected. Or that’s what it seemed like, as she corrected their ‘stage presence’. 

Alice rolled her eyes at him, trying not to be too harsh because hey, she kinda liked this kid. “You can’t blame your awkward arms on your knee, Niall.”

“I think his awkward arms are quite lovely!” Harry told her, putting his hands on his hips, and Alice smirked.

“I do too, but they don’t look good in front of hundreds of people, let alone just us in this room.” Niall brightened a bit at the compliment, and then Alice continued, “You know what? I think I’m gonna make you guys go to yoga with me on Tuesdays. That’ll loosen you up.”

“We have—“

“If you’re gonna tell me you have class, save it.” Alice laughed, crossing her arms in front of her. “Jackie already looked up your schedules and told me what they were. Both of you are free at 3. So go find some yoga mats at the dollar store in town this weekend.”

Harry and Niall dropped their heads, mumbling about not wanting to go, but were interrupted by Jackie’s shout.

“ROTATE!”

Everyone stopped, staring at her and each other in confusion. She rolled her eyes, raising a finger to point impatiently. 

“Louis, go over to Perrie. Liam, to Alice. Harry and Zayn, come here. Niall, stay there, because you suck at dancing.”

“Shut up, Jackie.”

“Love you too, blondie.” She looked around at the entire room, “Got it? Rotate!” And everyone moved, following her orders. They did the rest of the day, and at the end, near nine at night, they were gathered around the central piano, Jackie slowly laying out a melody for the lyrics that everyone had worked on and taken a part in all day.

“Zayn, hop on your drum set.” She told him, speaking around the pen she had clenched in her mouth. He nodded, sliding in easily. Then she looked to Niall, “Can you play this melody on the guitar for me? It’d sound better on guitar.”

“Psh, can I play it.” Niall scoffed, grabbing it where it rested on a seat just behind him and Alice. Jackie played the melody one more time for him, and he played it back, both of them working together to sound it out. Liam was puzzled, as she never used actual note or chord names, but somehow it still worked.

“No, third finger there.”

“Slower?”

“No, that’s fine.”

“What key for these chords?”

“Higher, but warm. Like summer rain.”

“I said key, not the weather.”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

And then they had the melody, and he was playing it easily, and she turned to Zayn. “Okay, the drums won’t come in until like, the second part of the first verse. And it’s just a slow, super simple beat until the chorus. Okay?” Zayn nodded, and she cued Niall to begin playing. He did, and she listened to him play the melody, then suddenly pointed to Zayn, cueing him to come in. He simply hit the bass drum, softly, every couple seconds or so. She beamed, nodding, gesturing for Niall to keep playing while calling over, “Okay, now add a little more.” He did, going along perfectly with Niall, then, “Okay! Cymbals! Perfect! Now that same beat, but louder, plus a little cymbal! No, the other one—yeah! Yes!” She looked to Louis, “Hop on the keyboard for the next chorus. Let me show you. Boys! Keep playing!” Jackie ran over, eyes absolutely alight with excitement, and Liam was entranced as she showed Louis what to play and when, adding even more layers towards the end of the song.They continued playing, the others all sitting there, mouths open as they watched the song come to life. For the next two minutes, they did this, Jackie scribbling out the notes (or whatever they were) on the paper in front of her, and then the song was over, and she looked up to them. 

“Okay, can we play it again, and I’ll record it on my phone so we can practice singing to it. Do you remember what to play? Or do you need the music?”

“I think we got it.” Zayn called over, and she beamed, “Perfect! I forgot you all were musical geniuses as well.” She set up her phone, hit record, had them play it one more time, then told them to gather around the piano again. She set the phone in the middle, then handed out a couple copies of the lyrics to the boys. (When did she write down more than one copy? Liam wondered if she was superhuman as well.)

“Liam, I want you to do this first verse.” She told him, “Come in right when the music starts.” 

Not wanting to displease her, he tried his best, singing softly, “Shut the door, turn the lights off. I wanna be with you, wanna feel your love. I wanna lay beside you, I cannot hide this, even though I try.” He looked to her for confirmation to keep going, and she nodded, jotting down more notes on her copy as he sang. “Heart beats harder, time escapes me. Trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder. And the tears stream down my face.”

“Higher next time, but good. Harry, you now.” She said quickly, eyes darting over to the taller boy as she pushed her glasses back up her nose.

“If we could only live this life, for one more day. If we could only turn back time.” He held the note longer when she motioned her hand for it, then said, “Okay, everyone now, for the chorus.”

They slid into their usual harmonies, and Jackie shot a grin at Perrie, clearly meaning she had done well today. “You know I’ll be your life, your voice, your reason to be. My love, my heart is breathing for this moment in time. I’ll find the words to say before you leave me today.”

“Niall! Go! Put some emotion into it!”

With a grin, Niall sang the next verse, “Close the door, throw the key. Don’t wanna be reminded, don’t wanna be seen. Don’t wanna be without you, my judgement’s clouded, like tonight’s sky.”

She cut Niall off, pausing the music. She studied all of them, ignoring their questioning glances. “Okay, Harry, I want you to harmonize with him on just those two first lines. Then after that, Niall, you’re done, and Louis has the rest of the verse.” She played the music again, starting at the end of the last chorus, and smiled once again when Harry and Niall sounded perfect together. Then Louis began his part, “Undecided, voice is numb. Try to scream out my lungs, it makes this harder. And the tears stream down my face.”

“Yes! Good! That was great!” Jackie cheered, then pointed excitedly to Harry, who sang his part dutifully. The boys sang the chorus again, and she looked to Zayn, talking over them while they sang. “You got the bridge. Sing it quickly. Hold out the final note, higher a bit.”

“Flashing lights in my mind, going back to the time, playing games in the street, kicking balls with my feet. There’s a numb in my toes, standing close to the edge. There’s a pile of my clothes, at the end of your bed. As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all…” Jackie smirked as she saw Zayn’s gaze slide over to Perrie, then gestured for all of the boys to sing the chorus, and then once more, “Sing it like you mean it! Harry, hold out the last word!”

And they did.

And then the song was over.

And they could do nothing but stare at each other in breathless amazement because that was absolutely incredible. Liam looked at all the boys around him, each of them mirroring his excited grin. This was what they were capable of, and it was only the beginning, just a rough draft of their first song.

“Can we keep her, Dad?” Louis called, throwing an arm around Jackie, who sat grinning up at everyone.

Everyone laughed, and Liam nodded, “Oh yes. Most definitely, we are keeping her.”

“I need to make some more adjustments, of course.” Jackie shrugged, brushing off all the compliments. “But this was a fantastic first run through, I’m so excited for this.”

“I say we go out to celebrate!” Louis declared, keeping a hand on Jackie’s shoulder as he straightened up, lifting his fist.

“We have an 8 am class tomorrow, Tommo.” Niall reminded him with a smirk, and Louis raised his fist again, “We should celebrate tomorrow! We’re going to the frat house!” And everyone cheered, Jackie dismissing them so she could gather the papers and take them back to her room and work on them. They all walked through the cold together, and when Liam, Louis, Zayn and Niall split off from the rest of them, heading to their own dorm, he couldn’t help but chance a look over his shoulder to the girl who was skipping along the sidewalk, dragging Perrie and Alice along and singing some odd song while Harry remained a few paces behind, laughing. He smiled to himself, then turned forward again. 

Yes. Best decision he’s ever made.

 

*****

 

“Are you sure I look okay?” Perrie asked once again as they began walking up the path to the already thumping frat house. Music pounded out into the street, and Perrie could see through the windows that the place already looked packed.

Jackie rolled her eyes, “Perrie, you’re the hottest girl here, alright? Stop worrying about it.” Jackie hopped up the steps, shoving open the door. Throwing her arms in the air, she announced to the people in the house, “Jackie has arrived!” Cheers sprang up from the direction of the kitchen, and Perrie’s eyes widened as she blushed and hid behind Alice, who turned and gave her a warm smile.

“You’ll get used to Jackie soon, don’t worry. She knows practically everyone, and she’s always gotta make an entrance.” Alice grabbed Perrie’s arm and pulled her along behind Jackie. “Come on, the boys are probably playing pong or something.”

Alice was right: the boys were all gathered around a table just off to the side of the kitchen, and Niall and Liam were in a heated game against two boys Perrie didn’t recognize. As soon as they came near, Louis spun around, smile widening as his eyes landed on them.

“Hey! About time our favorite girls got here!” He called, throwing an arm around Jackie. She simply snorted, waving to Liam and Niall and then smiling at Harry, “So, where are the drinks?”

“I can show you!” Louis interrupted, propelling them backwards and towards the kitchen counter. Zayn smiled and stepped over to Perrie.

“Hey, Perrie.” She blushed, tucking her hair behind her ear as he continued, “You look really nice. Almost too cute for a frat party.”

She shrugged, having somewhat of a hard time meeting his eyes. “Thanks! I mean, it’s my first one, you know, and if Jackie keeps insisting on making entrances like that, I gotta look pretty good, right?”

Zayn smiled back at her, a fondness growing in his chest. “Well, I’d say you hit your goal.” He bravely put an arm around her, guiding her back to the kitchen where Louis and Jackie had disappeared to. 

“Perrie! Zayn! Perfect, let’s do shots!” Jackie shouted over the music, pulling them closer. Louis quickly dealt out four shots of vodka, and with a countdown from Jackie, everyone threw them back, Perrie sputtering after swallowing hers.

“Jesus, that’s strong!” She puckered, looking for a chaser. “I think I’ll be sticking to mixed drinks, if that’s fine with you guys.”

“Of course!” Jackie smiled, turning to the counter. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Jackie can make practically any drink.” Louis boasted proudly. “The frat wanted to keep her as full time bartender after the first party, but she turned them down.” Perrie giggled while Jackie rolled her eyes at Louis, and Zayn watched them all with a small smile. 

Pong game after pong game was played, with Niall and Liam dominating the tables. Jackie somehow managed to continue to convince to rope people into doing shots with her, and before she knew it, Perrie was definitely drunk. However, she prided herself on managing to stand straight, which she noticed a lot of the people in the packed house could no longer do.

“Soccer House can really throw a party, huh?” Liam asked her as they sat on a couch together, watching Jackie force Zayn into dancing with everyone. Harry was just behind her, laughing and clutching at Louis for stability. Perrie nodded, giggling as she watched Zayn failing at keeping up with Jackie.

“Zayn, you’re a horrible dancer!” Niall shouted, popping in with Bryce and Alice right behind him. He grabbed the boy in a headlock, messing up the quiff Zayn had worked so hard on. With a mocking frown, Zayn sauntered off the dance floor and sat down next to Perrie and Liam, smelling strongly of the beer that had spilled on him when Jackie and a senior had made him try to shotgun one.

“I’m a hopeless dancer.” He sighed, leaning his head onto Perrie’s shoulder. She laughed and pinched his cheek.

“Looks like we need to schedule a private lesson with Alice, then!”

Liam smiled at them before looking back out into the throng of dancing people. Everyone was still there, although for some reason, he could no longer see Jackie. Concerned—and not just because he was drunk and had been following her around all night when he wasn’t absolutely killing it in pong—he stood, wandering around the house.

Close to a half an hour later, Harry walked up to him, a similar expression on his face. “Have you seen Lou?”

Liam shook his head, glancing to the dance floor for the umpteenth time. “Maybe he went upstairs to puke again, in the hidden bathroom. You know how he doesn’t like people knowing when he can’t handle his liquor.” Harry grinned, nodding, before grabbing Liam’s hand and pulling him along behind him as he made his way up the stairs. Liam went without complaint, because since he couldn’t find Jackie, he might as well hang with his other friends.

“Which ones the bathroom?” Harry asked once they were upstairs, voice quieter now that the music wasn’t quite as loud. Liam, brow furrowed, glanced around him, unsure. 

“Um, I think it’s—“

They both stopped, hearing a door open to their left. Turning to look, Harry was shocked as he saw a giggling Louis walking out backwards, pulling along none other than Jackie.

Liam froze, struggling to keep his face neutral as Louis spun around and saw them. “Harry! Liam!” He called, skipping over to them. He threw an arm around each of them, a wide grin on his face. “And how are my favorite lads doing tonight?”

Jackie locked eyes with Liam, face completely devoid of emotion. A fresh hickey was blatant on her neck, and she made no motion to cover it up. With somewhat of an awkward smile, she made her way down the stairs.

“She’s fantastic.” Louis muttered, watching her go. “I think I’m gonna go see if she wants to go back to her room.” He let go of the two boys and bounced down the stairs after her, calling her name loudly.

Harry looked over to Liam, who seemed to be in an immeasurable amount of pain. Harry furrowed his brow, confused. Liam had liked Jackie? Now that he thought about it, Liam had been staring at Jackie just a little more than a friend would, and he did remember a rather smashed Liam trying to kiss her the first weekend they were at college. How had he not noticed before? Now that he had thought about it, it was almost as obvious as Zayn’s affection for Perrie.

He put a hand on Liam’s shoulder, and Liam made no move to remove it. He took a deep breath, looking down the stairs to where Jackie had disappeared. Gone was his hope that maybe he should have a shot with her, gone was the beautiful blossoming in his chest. All that he could feel was a crippling sadness, sobering him up faster than he had ever sobered up before.

“I think I’m going to head back.” Liam said quietly to Harry, walking down the stairs slowly. Harry nodded, understanding. He could definitely imagine was Liam was feeling now, except ten times worse. Because not only did he no longer stand a chance with Louis, but Louis was definitely straight. There was no chance in hell Harry could ever get him to look at him as more than a friend. So, he was hopelessly doomed to be a pining mess for the rest of college.

 

*****

 

“Come on, Liam. You gotta help me out here. I don’t know what kind of song you’re looking for.”

“Jackie, I can’t.” Liam sighed again, still avoiding looking completely at her. It was Tuesday, three days after the party where Jackie had absolutely broken his heart, and he was still having trouble looking at her directly without staring at the spot where the hickey had been. 

The hickey that Louis gave her.

She slept with Louis. Just the thought of it made the pain start hurting in his chest all over again.

“I’m so hopelessly uninspired right now.” Liam groaned, laying on his back on the floor. He looked up at the ceiling, brooding. “I have no idea what to write about, but I know I want to write a new song for our gig coming up this weekend.” That wasn’t completely true. Liam knew what he wanted to write about. He wanted to write about Jackie. Wanted to write about how beautiful she was, about how much he loved her laugh, about how much she had broken his heart, about how he still liked her even though she had unknowingly shattered his being. Okay, so maybe not quite to that extent, but it sure felt like it.

“So you need inspiration then.” Jackie said quietly, tapping her finger to her chin. “Hmm. Well, I think the best way to get inspired is to get drunk and talk about our feelings.”

Okay, there was no way in hell Liam trusted himself enough to get drunk alone with Jackie and talk about his feelings. “Jackie, it’s a Tuesday.”

“You’re too responsible for your own good.” Jackie laughed, kicking at him with her bare foot. “Hey, I have an idea. Let’s go do something totally irresponsible.”

“And drinking on a Tuesday when we’re underage isn’t in that category?” Liam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Jackie simply laughed, standing up and putting her notebook in her backpack. “Come on, we need to do it before it gets cold. I do it every year, the last weekend in September. It’ll be fun doing it with you this time.”

Liam blushed at the innuendo, but stood up to follow her anyways. ‘Where are we going?”

“To the lake behind the music building!” Jackie told him, grinning as she shouldered her backpack and slid on her flip flops. “I’ve been coming here since I was 12, let’s go. Niall always does it with me too, I’ll text him.” Liam frowned, annoyed that they wouldn’t be hanging out alone together. However, he still wanted to hang with her every chance he got, so he’d go along with it.

Jackie refused to tell him what they were doing until Niall got there, and it was nearly dark when he arrived.

“Liam joining in this year?” Niall grinned, slipping off his flip flops as he stopped beside them.

Jackie shrugged, “Figured if we wanted to keep the tradition going, we should add something fun to it.”

“Will you tell me what the tradition is already?” Liam asked, voice slightly whiney. Jackie and Niall smiled at him, then turned towards the lake and took their shirts off.

“What the hell?” Liam said, taking a step backwards in surprise. Jackie and Niall took off their shorts, then ran down to the dock, where they stripped completely naked and jumped in, screaming. Liam’s mouth hung open, watching them. He could barely make out their figures in the dark, but he saw them floating in the water, laughing and splashing each other. 

“Liam! Come on!” Jackie called, and he glanced around them. Totally irresponsible was definitely correct. Wasn’t this illegal? Especially on campus?

“Come on Liam, live a little!” Niall shouted, and Jackie’s laugh echoed out over the water. Liam took a deep breath, debating. He already knew he was going to do it since Jackie was asking him. With a heavy sigh, he dropped his shorts, peeling off his shirt as he walked out onto the dock.

“Do I have to get completely naked?” He asked hesitantly, looking at the dark waters below.

“Liam, take your boxers off, or I’m having Niall take them off for you.” Jackie told him, and Niall laughed, sending a threatening splash his way.

Liam dodged it, biting his lip. What the hell. He slid them off quickly, jumping into the water hopefully before Jackie got a good look at him. When he came back up shivering, Niall and Jackie were cheering, sending waves and waves of water in his direction.

“We’ve corrupted Liam!” Niall cheered, throwing his hands out of the water. 

“Don’t get your hopes up just yet.” Jackie laughed. “We only got him to skinny dip with us, we’ve got a long way to go.”

“You guys seriously do this every year?” Liam asked, barely able to keep his teeth from chattering.

“Yup! Every summer since we were thirteen.” Niall grinned proudly, and Jackie smiled. 

“I’ve been doing it since I was twelve. Niall joined me the year we became friends, when we were in eighth grade.” Jackie shoved Liam in the water, “And now we’ve got you to do it with us!”

Liam glared at Jackie, but his face soon melted into a smile the longer he stared at her. Her face was set in a small smile, legs brushing up against him every so often underwater. He tried not to think about how they were naked, and together, even if Niall was with them as well. 

“Also, during these things, we update each other on who we’d like to fuck and who we’re currently fucking.” Niall added, breaking their gaze. “Jackie, give us the lowdown on Louis.”

Liam bit back a groan. Really? He had to sit here and listen to this? He absolutely did not want to listen to how amazing Louis was—

“Niall, it’s nothing.” Jackie laughed, breaking through Liam’s internal self-pity party. Liam looked at her with a raised eyebrow, and Jackie laughed even harder. “I’m serious! We hooked up at a party, so what? I doubt anything’s gonna come out of it.”

“Oh, I don’t.” Niall snorted. “I mean, Liam’s probably heard more about it since he lives with him, but Louis couldn’t shut up at practice the other day about how amazing you were.”

“Really?” Jackie asked, surprised. She turned to look to Liam for confirmation, and he reluctantly nodded his head.

“Yeah, although I originally thought it’d be Harry you would have gotten with, considering he’s in your room practically every other day.” Niall snorted. “But nope! Tommo’s got it bad for you.”

“Wow.” Jackie looked down at the water. “I mean, he’s funny, yeah. I dunno. I guess we’ll see where this goes then. Should be fun.”

Niall laughed, “Oi, Jackie! Don’t break the guy’s heart because you’re looking for something fun and he wants to settle down! I thought you learned your lesson in High School.”

Jackie splashed Niall then, hoping to hide her blush in the darkness. “Ah, shut up, Niall.” Thankfully, Niall had turned his attention to bothering Liam about who he liked, which Jackie paid close attention to. 

“Come on, there’s gotta be someone!” Niall pushed, splashing more water in Liam’s direction. 

Liam shook his head again, determined not to look in Jackie’s direction. “Nah, man. I mean I liked someone at the beginning of the year, but she got a boyfriend pretty quickly, so.” He hoped that covered it, that maybe Niall would stop bothering him. Jackie, on the other hand, was watching the smile on Liam’s face, a funny feeling in her stomach. She had a feeling she knew who that girl was, and she had an even stronger feeling that was telling her that Liam was lying about her having a boyfriend. It was easy to see his hesitance in answering, the moonlight shining on his face, tan still lingering from this summer. Her eyes travelled his face, taking him in, before biting her lip and focusing once again on the conversation at hand.

“Well what about you, Niall? Who do you like?” Liam asked, turning the conversation around.

Niall shrugged. “Dunno. Too many pretty girls to pick just one.”

Jackie rolled her eyes. “Shut the fuck up, Niall. You like Alice.” 

Niall’s mouth dropped open, much to Liam’s amusement. “No I don’t!”

“Yes you do!” She protested. “I can tell when someone likes someone else, it’s always obvious. You look at her with that goofy smile, like, all the time.” 

“I don’t!” Niall protested again, then stopped when Jackie gave him a look. “Yeah, okay. She’s fit. But I don’t look at her with a goofy smile.”

“Check yourself next time, Horan.” She grinned, winking at Liam, who in turn blushed. Oh God, there was no way Jackie didn’t know that he liked her, then. If Niall was obvious, Liam might as well be wearing a flashing neon sign.

“Hate to break it to you two, and I hate to interrupt your tradition,” Liam spoke up, “But I’m absolutely freezing. Are we done? Can we get out?”

Jackie laughed, “You pussy.” Niall nodded, grinning at both of them before turning to swim back to the dock. He climbed up and Liam looked away, shielding his eyes as the two clambered out before him and quickly put their underwear on. His cheeks were flushed, and Jackie couldn’t help but notice the way he tried to put his boxers on as quickly as possible. She gave him a look, eyeing him up and down, before turning away and following Niall back up to where the rest of their stuff lay in the grass.

“I gotta head back and get my English paper done.” Niall told them as he shrugged his shirt down his torso. “I assume you two will be in the studio all night?”

“Doubt we’re gonna have a new song ready, but yeah, we’ll be there working on the old ones.” Jackie smiled, giving Niall a light shove. “E-mail me your paper for proofreading, yeah?”

“Always do.” Niall grinned, then pulled his backpack over his shoulder. “See ya later!” He sauntered off, and Jackie turned to Liam, watching him pull his clothes on hastily. He blushed under her gaze, keeping his eyes locked on the ground and not on the shirtless Jackie in front of him. 

“Are you inspired yet?” Jackie asked, and when Liam looked up, she was thankfully wearing clothes again. Not that he minded her without them, it was just a bit harder to focus.

“Yeah, I’d say so.” Liam let out a small laugh, shoving his shoes back on his feet. Unfortunately, the only thing he was inspired about still was Jackie, and that was bound to go terribly.

“Perfect! Let’s go get writing then!” Jackie pulled on her jacket, leaving her shoes in her hands as they set back off towards the music building. Liam was surprised it was still open, yet Jackie waved at the janitor as they walked by, and she told him the building stayed open until one, since a lot of the upperclassmen came in late to finish projects. 

“Alright, Liam. Hit me.” Jackie told him, clicking her pen as they sat in the middle of the floor of the rehearsal room that had quickly become their usual spot. “What do you wanna write?”

Liam blushed, looking down at the floor in between them. “Why don’t we do a love song? I’m sure Zayn would be cool with that, and we could tease Niall with it.”

Jackie’s eyes brightened up. “Yes! That’s fantastic!” She laughed, scribbling down a few words on the notepad. “Alright, let’s make this cheesy as hell. So cheesy that Niall is redder than a tomato, which shouldn’t be too hard. Niall and I can work on the guitar part tomorrow.”

Liam smiled. The words he had in his head were definitely cheesy as hell, as she had put it, and he was confident that she wouldn’t suspect it was all for her.

As they worked on into the night, Jackie began to tease Liam more and more, saying they were writing one of the cheesiest songs in existence. Liam couldn’t help but agree. I mean, the wrinkles by your eyes? Really? But the next day when the boys were all helping to finish it, no one seemed shy at all about it. Niall was sure it’d made the girls go crazy at the show this weekend, and Louis even joked, “Hell, lads, this song is even making me feel better about myself!”

Liam looked over at Jackie as they sang through it a couple times, helpless to her laugh as she watched them. 

“I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth…” 

He better not, Liam thought. But, he had a feeling they’d slip up sometime and she’d find out. With a deep blush as she made eye contact, he looked down to the floor, trying to ignore how bright the sparkle in her eyes had been.

“Yeah, I’m in love with you, and all your little things.”

 

*****

 

“Niall, you’re almost as bad at forward as you are at dancing.”

“Aw, shut up, Alice.” Niall smirked, kicking the ball to her at soccer that week. “Tell Liam to stop being a wuss about his knee and get out of goal then. I’m the one who’s in danger of being injured anyways!”

“Excuse you, she is not the captain.” Louis cut in, stealing the ball effortlessly from Niall. “If Liam wants to be a big fat baby and stay in goal, then he can.”

“I can hear you!” Liam called, only twenty feet away. “Intramural fields aren’t that big you know.”

“Yeah, we know!” Niall called back with a friendly wave. Then he turned to Alice, smiling as Louis went to go talk to the other team. “So, uh, what are you doing after the game?”

Alice smiled, “Probably going in town with Jackie. Said she wanted to celebrate something with a real dinner, and not dining hall food.”

Niall’s face dropped, and he looked up the field. “Oh, yeah. Sounds good. You two have fun.” He turned to walk away, and Alice grabbed his arm, making him look back to her. 

“I never said you couldn’t go, stupid.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure Jackie would love if you came.”

Niall rubbed the back of his neck, “I dunno, I don’t wanna intrude…”

“Niall.”

“Yeah?” He looked up, finding her smirking at him.

“I’d like for you to come.”

Niall’s eyes brightened, “Really? You sure?”

“Of course!” Alice gave a quiet laugh, “Gotta have someone else help me with keeping Jackie tame while in public. Who knows what she means by celebrating.”

Niall smiled, “True, true. So what time should I meet you guys at?”

“Seven sound good?” Alice said, walking backwards towards the top of the field where Louis still stood. Niall nodded, the smile on his face growing wider as he turned away. Then he remembered Jackie’s comment about the stupid grin and he literally groaned out loud. He would not let himself turn into a dopey mess. With a slap across the face to himself and a few more teasing comments to Liam, he got his game face on, not paying any attention at all to Alice’s legs every time she sprinted around the field in front of him.

 

*****

 

“Do we look okay?”

“Are you sure these songs are good?”

“Let’s fucking do this!”

Jackie laughed, punching Louis’ shoulder lightly. “Alright, kids, calm down. I realize this is your first gig since you started college, but you can still act like professionals. Come on, here.” She reached out, fixing the collar on Liam’s button down. “You guys look good! Did Perrie pick these out?”

Louis groaned, “Yes! She came around to all of our rooms, making us wear blue shirts and black pants.” Louis looked down to his baseball style shirt, blue sleeves with a white center, then back up and smiled. “I think I look damn good.”

Liam smirked at him, “Niall’s polo looks better, in my opinion.”

“It was the only blue I had!” He shrugged, drinking from a water bottle. “Really though, I wish I was either Zayn or Harry. They got just t-shirts on, and it’s about to be hot as hell up there.”

“Don’t be a baby.” Jackie snorted, then began rolling up Liam’s sleeves. He blushed, looking down at the ground and focusing on the toes of his converse. “If you guys get too hot, come backstage. Perrie dropped off some tank tops for you guys to change into afterwards, and I got water on hand.”

“Speaking of Perrie, where is she?” Zayn asked, attempting to appear nonchalant.

Jackie smiled at him, “Don’t worry, your and Niall’s girlfriends are gonna be front row to see how everything looks.”

“Oi!” Niall spun around, flustered. “She’s not my girlfriend!”

Louis snorted, “Not yet, at least. You two flirt more than Harry does with his English professor.”

“Hey now!” Harry smiled at Louis, “That’s not flirting! I’m just being nice!”

“Quit arguing, lovebirds.” Jackie rolled her eyes and Harry blushed and looked away. “Are you all ready? You’re going on, like, now.” She began moving them all in the general direction of the stage where a couple stagehand guys were standing with their instruments and Zayn’s drumsticks. The boys crowded around side stage, all whispering to each other in anticipation. As the lights in the place dimmed and the crowd began to scream, Louis spun around, pulling everyone into a quick huddle and nodding at Niall when he pulled Jackie in as well.

“Alright, boys. This is it. The new and improved One Direction makes their kickass debut today. We pray to the gods of rock and roll that—“

“Louis, if you quote School of Rock right now, I’m going to punch you.” Jackie interrupted, and everyone laughed.

“Alright, alright. But, let’s fucking do this yeah?” He grinned and put his hand in center, everyone following suit as he shouted, “Boys on three, one-two-three!”

Everyone echoed the cheer, ignoring how ridiculous it sounded as they all rushed onstage, grabbing their instruments and settling onstage. At a cue from the stage manager, Niall began the guitar solar, and the lights raised on them, making the crowd scream once more. With a smile and a nod at everyone else, Niall jumped, and everyone else joined in to the intro to What Makes You Beautiful.

“You’re insecure, don’t know what for.” They began, and just as Jackie had predicted, the girls in the crowd were going wild as Harry took his microphone stand with him to the front of the stage. The boys all sang loudly for the chorus, and when the song ended, Jackie saw Alice and Perrie jumping up and down front row with the other girls, and screaming louder than the rest of them.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Louis shouted into the microphone, “Specifically these wonderful girls front row, thank you!” The crowd screamed again, and Louis waited a minute before continuing, “We are One Direction! Now, if you don’t mind, we’d like to keep the energy going.” As soon as he finished, Zayn started the drums, and they launched into a much more upbeat of a song that Jackie had helped them write this summer called One Thing. They only had a five song set, so after this, they were doing True Love, and then Little Things. Perrie screamed with the best of them during Little Things, especially when Zayn (who was walking around since he didn’t play drums during this song) came to the front of the stage and pointed at her. It was over all too quick, and then Louis was prancing to the front of the stage, arm landing around Harry’s waist as he shouted to the crowd.

“Again, all of you, thanks so much for having us!” He beamed, ignoring Harry blushing beside him. “We are a local band, so you can catch us all around town this semester, and you can like our page on Facebook to see awkward photos we take of each other sleeping.” The crowd laughed, and he took the hand from Harry’s waist and raised it in the air, “Thank you so much! And now, we’ll leave you with our favorite cover that one of our good friends helped us pick out. We are One Direction, and we hope you have an amazing evening!”

Niall began playing Teenage Dirtbag, and the energy was almost palpable as the crowd bounced around and sang along with them. When they were finished, they ran offstage, waving to everyone before running off. Liam spun around, hugging the first person he found, inadvertently starting a group hug with Jackie at the middle, all as she screamed, “You’re all fucking disgusting and sweaty! Get the fuck off of me!” They laughed and let go, and then they were being pushed aside as the next band’s crew began to move the equipment onstage. The boys all tore down their stuff in record time and packed it away before finding Jackie, all of them trading in their sweat stained shirts for the tank tops Perrie had provided.

“Where is Perrie?” Niall asked, Zayn giving him a look.

Jackie smiled, “Free concert, right? They’re staying for the whole thing, and they’re gonna find us after we’re done signing stuff.”

“Signing stuff?” Harry asked, and Jackie nodded excitedly.

“Yeah! The person in charge of the bar told me most of the bands hang around the patio afterwards and the fans buy stuff and ask for signatures and pictures.” She frowned, fixing the tag on Niall’s shirt, not missing a beat. “So, naturally, as your unofficial manager, I told him we’d hang around for an hour or so after the show, and he was cool with it. We can watch the next two bands perform and then we should probably head back there.”

“We’re signing things?” Louis asked again, ignoring Jackie rolling her eyes. “We’re signing things! For actual fans! Lads!” He laughed and pulled Liam and Zayn in on either side. Jackie just sighed and went to talk to another stage manager, probably asking more about the impromptu meet and greet. Liam was buzzing with energy, watching the next band start their set. This was it. This was everything he had wanted.

Once Jackie had herded them to the back patio, they’d have girls come up every few minutes or so to ask for pictures and signatures. Zayn and Harry got quite a few numbers, while Niall was laughing about his signature. “What the fuck do I sign? My name? God this looks horrible.”

“Just do your initials then.”

“Oh, sick, this looks much better.”

Once the headliner had finished and the show was officially over, more girls flooded the back, and the boys were signing and smiling for pictures until they were exhausted. Perrie and Alice finally found them, sitting at the table with Jackie, who was currently talking to another guy who must have been in one of the other bands.

“Who’s that guy?”

Liam looked to Louis, “What?”

“That guy. Talking to Jackie.” Louis was frowning, and Liam turned to look, a weird feeling settling in his stomach. “He looks awfully friendly.”

Liam’s brow furrowed, paining him to say, “Well, Jackie’s a free woman. She can flirt with who she wants, right?” 

“Wrong.” Louis spun back around, smiling a little too brightly for the picture. “I asked her out on our way here tonight.”

Liam froze, shock written clearly on his face. “What?”

“Yeah, and she said yes.” He turned to give Jackie a look, who only responded by sticking her tongue out. “So she might need to be careful who she’s grinning at like that.” Louis turned back around, greeting yet another girl and signing a poster of one of the other bands who had played tonight. Liam was moving on autopilot, brain trying to process this new information. Louis and Jackie…were together? He swallowed hard, remembering that night at the party. So it hadn’t just been a drunken hook up.

“I need a drink.” He mumbled before turning to go find Niall, who was sitting with the other band members, making friends as usual and getting them to buy him beer. And if he stared a little too hard at Jackie, wondering how he hadn’t seen this coming, no one would have to know. 

 

*****

 

“Zayn, you’re insane.”

“Shh!” He insisted, looking back to grin shyly at Perrie. “Come on, I promise no one’s going to catch us.” Perrie still looked doubtfully at him, so he sighed. “Look, Jackie and Niall go out there all the time. They even go skinny dipping, and they haven’t gotten caught. We’re just going to be sitting on the dock. I’m pretty sure that’s not illegal.”

Perrie watched him for a moment more, then sighed. “Yeah, fine, let me grab some flip flops.” She turned back into her room, moving silently so she didn’t wake Alice up. They had gotten back from the show around one in the morning, and Perrie was about to go to sleep when Zayn had texted her asking her to answer the door. 

She closed it silently before turning and following Zayn, allowing him to grab her hand and lead them down the walk silently, smiling to herself in the darkness.

“You were really good tonight, you know.”

“Really?” Zayn asked, a small smile on his lips as he turned to look at Perrie beside him. 

She nodded, looking at the ground instead. “Yeah. You guys were so much fun to watch. Think I liked you better than the main act.”

“Won’t be long before we are the main act.” Zayn snorted, looking down to his shoes. “No thanks to you ladies, might I add.” Perrie laughed and shoved him lightly, and they continued the rest of the walk in companionable silence until they reached the pier. Zayn sat at the edge, pulling Perrie down next to him as they looked out across the water. Perrie kicked her feet—flip flops now beside her on the dock—and hummed a bit.

“So…what are we doing out here?” She asked after a few moments of silence. She knew Zayn was quiet, but come on.

He smiled, eyes sliding to look sideways at her. “Wanted to see you.”

“And it couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?” She scoffed, and he laughed lightly.

“No, it couldn’t’ve.” He placed his hand on top of hers. “It was crazy, seeing you front row for our show.” His hand slid up her arm slowly, coming to rest with his knuckles pressed gently against her jaw. She blushed a bit as he added, “I couldn’t stop watching you, you know.”

“Really?” Perrie asked, amazed at how she kept her breath even.

“Really.” He answered, dark gaze connecting with hers. He stared down at her for a moment longer, and then his fingers were reaching, back around her neck, pulling her to him and making their lips meet, gentle as anything.

She sighed, eyes fluttering closed. At her breath outward, Zayn brought his other hand up to cup the other side of her face, pressing a bit more earnestly against her. She leaned into it, welcoming the contact. She’d been dreaming of his lips on hers since the moment they met, and she couldn’t believe she finally had him. Zayn was here, kissing her. Zayn was kissing her.

He pulled back after a few more minutes, both of them breathless and blushing. He smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before whispering, “Been waiting ages to do that.”

Perrie snorted despite the stillness of the moment. “You could’ve done it a lot sooner, you know.”

“So I can do it again?” He asked, finally opening his dark eyes to gaze into hers once more.

She grinned, blush rising once again. “Yes. Yes, you most definitely can.” And then she was reaching up and pulling him in, pressing against him once more, taking everything she had been waiting for.

 

*****

 

Over the course of the next couple months, Liam grew more and more bothered by Louis and Jackie being together. No, it wasn’t only because he wanted Jackie all for himself, but something just wasn’t sitting right about their relationship. Were they too similar? Was it the way Jackie always gave Louis the hardest time? Was it because even Harry was saying that it seemed a little off?

Harry was one of the few people left to talk about it. It seemed like every single one of his friends was getting into relationships. Zayn and Perrie had been in their own little world since the moment they met, being basically the perfect little lovebirds. Niall and Alice began an on and off relationship that seemed to stop and start again every week, depending on who started the argument this time. Even Josh had gone and found some art major to take on dates into town, leaving only Harry and Liam to discuss what was going on around them.

Jackie remained the driving force behind their band, pushing them forward and making them better than even Liam had dreamed they could be. Sure, they still had a long ways to go, but they were getting somewhere now! They had written numerous more songs and were playing a gig almost every other weekend. It was a dream come true, save for the fact that he was singing about a girl that could never love him back.

 

*****

 

“Okay, but like, isn’t that a little weird? Like, this isn’t a love song.” 

“But it is!” Jackie protested, continuing her endless circle walking around the piano that Liam was currently sitting at. “It’s the story of your lives! All of you have sisters, except Niall, but all of your lives were involved with love! It’s a love song, but it’s not necessarily a romantic song.” She spun on her heel, across from Liam, pointing as she spoke. “It’s about family, and bonds, and the people you know, and how that love has shaped you and who you are.”

Liam sat, eyes wide open and taking in everything, as he had grown accustomed to doing when Jackie was talking. He loved how passionate she was about these songs, how she loved each and every one. He always got caught up in her theatrics, especially when it was just them two, late at night, the only two overachievers in this ragtag group of musicians. It was a habit that he had no intention of quitting anytime soon.

“Okay, okay. That works.” Liam nodded, looking back down to the sheet music in front of him that they were currently working on. “So, to finish out the chorus, we’re going with…” He paused, playing the simple piano melody they had so far as he sang, “I spend her love until she’s broke inside, the story of my life.” He looked up to Jackie questioningly, and she nodded, beginning to walk in her circle again as she chewed on the pen in her hand.

“Yeah, yeah. This is good. And we already have the next verse, we wrote that earlier with Zayn and Louis.” She said, and he held back his frown. He still got a bitter taste in his mouth every time she spoke his name. He loved the dude, but he loved the dude’s girlfriend more.

“Now the bridge.”

Liam looked up again. “We’re putting a bridge in there? I thought we were just gonna sing the chorus, sing the first part quieter, and then the final full chorus.”

Jackie shook her head, her path taking her around the side of the piano, behind Liam, and up the other side. “No, yeah we are. But, like, we need something else between them. Like, a little two line thing that gives it another feel, you know? That the story’s not over yet? That it’s an unending book, with a ‘to be continued’ at the end.” She closed her eyes, and then they snapped open as she almost sprinted to the piano bench. Jackie flopped down, practically sitting on Liam as she made room for herself. He smiled, watching as she focused on picking out a few notes, then scratching them down onto the sheet music, keeping the pen cap in between her teeth. She worked out the simple melody, then sat back, face set in concentration. He loved the way her brow crinkled, how she bit her lip while thinking. Her fingers barely stretched enough to reach the notes she needed, but somehow she always managed to. Liam couldn’t help but admire how she always fit every note together, as if she already knew what sounded good. And he guessed, in a way, she did.

“Now for the lyrics.” She closed her eyes, taking her glasses off for the fourteenth time and setting them on top of the piano. “Uh…I’ve been waiting for this time…to pass? To happen? No, to come around…Fuck. Yeah, that’s a good line.” She wrote it hastily, then frowned. “What the hell comes after it?”

Liam sighed inwardly, tearing his impassioned gaze away from her face and looking instead to the sheet music. What a hopeless endeavor, liking someone who was taken. But he couldn’t help it, he was so far gone that he even loved her handwriting. It was hopeless. He was hopeless. This whole crush thing—although it was significantly more than that now—was absolutely hopeless.

Without really thinking, he breathed out, “But baby, running after you is like chasing the clouds.”

Jackie looked over, eyes wide as she stared at him. Liam looked back, seeing the admiration in her eyes, and couldn’t help but feel a rise in his chest. The way their eyes connected, these bubbly feelings—she had to be feeling it too. There was no way he was alone in this.

“Liam, that’s absolutely amazing!” She shrieked, throwing her arms around him for a quick squeeze before putting her glasses back on to write it on the sheet music. He grinned, putting his hands on the piano keys. 

“Okay, so then the final chorus is gonna be loud, right?” He asked, mindlessly playing. When she didn’t answer, he looked up, only to find her staring at him with the smallest of smiles on her face. He froze, confused, also dazed because she was so close and her lips were right there and this was it, this was his chance—

“Thought I might find you two crazy people here.”

Moment broken, Liam held back an eye roll before turning to greet Louis as he sauntered through the door, sweatpants and jacket wrinkled as if they’d been laying on the floor before he decided to come here. Which, they probably had been.

“Hey!” Jackie greeted, standing. “Just finishing up the lyrics and melody for our midterm project. What are you doing out of bed?” She added with a snort, hugging Louis quickly.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go get a late night milkshake and then we have a sleepover?” Louis asked, keeping an arm around her waist as he smiled down at her. Liam rolled his eyes, trying not to be too bothered by the scene before him.

“Yeah, sure, I think we’re about done here.” Jackie turned to Liam, “Would you mind cleaning up? The place closes soon and if Louis doesn’t get a milkshake I know he’s gonna bitch about it all night.”

Liam gave her a smile, “Yeah, go ahead. Don’t wanna bring out the whiney toddler inside of Lou.” Of course he’d do it for her. Anything to make her happy. Hell, if she’d asked him to paint the world purple and blue, he’d do it for her.

“Thanks so much!” She ran to grab her jacket, and then she was bustling Louis to the door, trying to hurry him along, because Louis is never on time to anything, anywhere. As they left, their happy voices and laughter echoing down the hallway, Liam turned and began gathering up the sheet music in front of him, stuffing it carefully into the brown folder.

“Liam!”

He spun around, seeing Jackie rush back into the room. Cracking a grin, he asked, “Forget something?” Because if Louis is never on time, Jackie is hopelessly forgetful.

“Just one thing.” She smirked, and then leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks, you’re absolutely amazing with this project.” She started to back away, unaware of the hurricane she had started in Liam’s mind. “We’re meeting with everyone tomorrow, yeah? For the vocal stuff? I’ll see ya then!” With another quick wave, she turned and ran out the door after Louis.

Liam stayed in place, mouth slightly open and hand over where her lips had been only moments ago. He sat down in a rush, smacking his head with his hand. Because wow, he was so, so, so far gone. 

And this was so, so, so hopeless.

“Chasing after the clouds, fuck. Way to go, Payno.”

 

*****

 

Liam rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time, because that was the hundredth time that Jackie had gone back and changed something absolutely minuscule about their midterm project.

“Jackie, it’s perfect.” He insisted once again. It was about three days before it was due, and Jackie was freaking out because she wasn’t sure if their professor would like it.

“No it’s not. Nothing is perfect. There is always room for improvement.” She answered in a tight voice, squinting her eyes at the papers in front of her. Then her face dropped, eyebrows flying up her head. “Oh God, what if this is the complete wrong key?” She shrieked, and stood, running for the guitar across the room.

And that’s when Liam decided she was losing her mind.

“Nope! Nope! No, sir.” Liam stood suddenly, grabbing her arm before she could reach the guitar. She stared up at him, her face set in an angry frown.

“Liam, what the hell. I have three days to finish this song and make it perfect and—“

“Nope. It is finished.” He said simply. Then he interrupted her as he saw her mouth open again, “No, it is. It’s absolutely amazing and I promise you’re going to blow everyone else’s projects out of the water. He loves every single piece you turn in, and this is the best one yet.”

Jackie continued staring at him as if he was spewing ancient Greek and she couldn’t understand exactly what he was saying. Except honestly, she probably knew some ancient Greek, because she knows way too many random things and that’s probably unhealthy. And also adding to the theory he had about her sanity. So he sighed, and pulled her towards the coat rack. 

“Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“Put your coat on.”

“Where are we going?”

“Can you hand me my car keys?”

“Where are we going?”

Liam stopped and smiled at her. Because he knew exactly where to take her. 

“Somewhere that’ll help you relax.”

And ten minutes later, Jackie had a secret smile on her face and Liam was only slightly upset because he thought he was taking her someplace special, somewhere she’d never been before. But clearly, that was not the case.

“When were you here before?” He asked as they exited the car and began heading towards the beach, shoes in hand.

Jackie shrugged, looking down as their toes hit the sand. “Some boyfriend in High School.”

Liam walked beside her, remembering a fact they learned not too long ago, “Was it Niall?”

And Jackie laughed then, really laughed. Relief flooded through Liam, because she hadn’t laughed in two days, setting an all-time record. He wanted to attribute it to simply the stress of finishing their project, but he knew she had other things on her mind. Which is why he brought her here.

Finally, giggles subsiding, Jackie raised an eyebrow as she looked at Liam, “Do you really think Niall’s romantic enough to take me here?” And Liam gave a silly grin and a shrug, because hey, it was a fair question. They continued walking until they were closer to the ocean, and Jackie stopped, watching it. And Liam stopped, watching her. The moonlight was hitting her face, her hair, her crew neck sweatshirt with the neck cut out that was currently threatening to slide off of one shoulder. And so his eyes traced along her shoulder, her collarbone, up her neck and to her face, which was absolutely neutral. He had no idea what she was thinking at that moment. So he took this moment to look at her, really look at her.

For once, there was no paint splattered anywhere on her, which was odd enough in itself. She painted constantly, almost as much as she wrote. Of course, he had no idea where those paintings go, but he saw them come and go from her room all the same when he was helping her tidy up. Also missing from her face was her glasses. But he hadn’t seen her squint all day to see anything like she usually does when she’s missing them, so he couldn’t help but wonder…was she wearing contacts? Either way, the green in her eyes was absolutely glowing, and he couldn’t take his eyes away.

“Did you know I’m gonna get a tattoo of the ocean?”

“What?” Liam asked, confusion breaking his trance.

“Yeah. Well, not the ocean.” She said, shrugging slightly, gaze never leaving the vast expanse in front of her. “But a seashell. To represent it.”

“Why the ocean?” He asked quietly, if only to keep her talking.

“Because it never has to change.” She took a deep breath, although quietly, so Liam couldn’t help but wonder if she didn’t want him to know—didn’t want him to guess at how much she was working to keep her expression neutral. “It doesn’t have to change anything about it, for anyone. The ocean does as it pleases, day in and day out, and people just take it for what it is. Love it for what it is. Doesn’t ask any more of it, doesn’t ask it to give more than it can.” She paused again, biting her lip, and Liam watched it with a gaze that could melt chocolate.

Well, he felt like melting chocolate right then, watching her reveal herself, even if it was in a horribly cryptic way. But that’s what Jackie does. She’s cryptic, and he didn’t mind one bit.

“I wish I was the ocean.”

It came out, barely louder than the tiniest whisper, and Liam froze, gaze locked on her eyes, now troubled as she watched the waves. Every tense moment, every time she had snapped at Louis and not smiled after, every painful sigh, every ounce of pressure and confusion and worry was seen in her face at that moment. Maybe the pressure of writing so many songs for a band of stupid boys while also completing coursework had finally gotten to her. He decided that Jackie had probably lost it, that she was definitely crazy.

He also decided right then and there that he was absolutely, completely, head over heels in love.

Love. It’s a scary word, and Liam couldn’t believe he just admitted it to himself.

So he did the only sane thing he could think of.

“Care for a dance?”

And Jackie gave him the most ridiculous look, and he absolutely deserved it in every way, because what the hell? Dancing? Is that really what he could come up with?

“Come on!” He said, offering his hand out to her. Warily, she took it—thank God—and he put his hand on her hips, slowly beginning what seemed to be a waltz. Except it was nearly impossible in the sand, so Liam hummed along some silly variation that maybe resembled the Mozart they listened to in their Music History class at the beginning of the semester that he maybe remembered her smiling at and Jackie gave him a small smile. That confirmed that she was crazy, because she was totally down with dancing on the beach in the middle of the night to nothing but Liam’s humming. And he smiled back, which confirmed that he indeed was crazy in love with her.

He spun her around suddenly, making them stumble a bit, and she laughed again, and he began to breathe easier. With a few more dramatic dance moves and crescendos in his humming, she was full on laughing, unable to stand upright as she laughed at Liam and let all the tension built up the past week escape in the sounds of gentle snorts and loud laughs. The next time she snorted, Liam began laughing as well, and they sat down hard in the sand, gasping for breath. The entire situation was ridiculous, this whole night was ridiculous, and none of that should have been that funny—but they laughed anyways. Because it was the exact amount of craziness they needed to let loose from all of the imposed tasks.

And so when Jackie laid back in the sand, taking deep breaths, and breathed out a quiet, “Thank you, Liam,” he smiled to himself, looking back out at the ocean. 

She didn’t need to change at all. In fact, she was an ocean. With her endless depths that never ran short of something new to discover, some new mystery for him to solve. She was there, day in and day out, constant, vast and dependable. She was the ocean.

And Liam was definitely in way over his head, drowning in all that was Jackie.

“So what about tattoos? What other ones do you want?” He asked, turning and looking at her over his shoulder. And she grinned, and leaned up on her elbows, and stated: “Prepare yourself for a lengthy lecture that not even Doctor Jean can compare to.”

An hour later, she wasn’t kidding. She had talked the entire time they had stayed at the beach, the entire drive back, the entire walk back to Jackie’s dorm. Now, they were there, standing outside of her dorm room, laughing at her impression of Harry as a tattoo artist.

As their laughter died down, both of them glanced at her keys, clenched tightly in her left hand, then to her door. It must have been near two in the morning, and although he didn’t want to admit it, Liam wasn’t tired whatsoever, didn’t want to go back to his room and to a snoring Louis, didn’t want the night to end. With a sigh and a half-smile, he looked up to Jackie, “So, I guess I should be going then. I’ll see ya tomorrow morning for final run-through, yeah?” And he turned to go, trying to get away before his composure broke—

A hand, reaching out and grabbing his arm, stopped him. Liam froze, looking down at Jackie’s hand, then up to her. She seemed just as surprised as he did, staring at him with her mouth open, as if she couldn’t think of what to say. In the brief second before she did, Liam caught a flash of emotion in her eyes—of the same indecision and pain in her eyes he had witnessed at the beach—and then it was gone, her expression back to normal, and she was speaking.

“Would you, uh, you don’t have to leave. I don’t really plan on going to bed for a while, so, you know, if you want.” She shrugged, taking her hand off of his arm and shoving it in her jacket pockets. He paused, unsure. While they did have class tomorrow, and neither of them had an early one, thank god, he didn’t want to leave her alone when she was obviously still troubled about something.

“Yeah, sure. I’m not really tired, anyways.” He smiled and turned back to face her, and she seemed almost relieved.

“Great!” She unlocked her door swiftly, tossing the keys to the desk on the back of the room as she walked in. “Shut the door behind you, the RA always complains that I’m too loud at night.” Liam smirked, shutting it as he watched her toss her jacket over a chair in the corner and grab her lighter from her desk to light the candle.

“You, of all people, should not have a candle in their room.” He smirked, looking at the papers and paints and canvas and who knows what else covering the floor. “How do you even walk in here?”

“With extreme precision and careful grace.” Jackie replied, her tone implying that she was well aware she knew she didn’t possess either of those traits. She glanced up at him, perching on her little ottoman thing, and Liam smiled and shook his head.

“It’s ridiculously messy.” He responded, still standing by the door, unsure of how to go sit somewhat near her. But not too close, of course. Just the right distance away. A friendly distance.

“Then clean it.” Jackie shrugged, reaching into the drawer next to her and pulling out a new bottle of whiskey. Liam rolled his eyes. She and Niall had just finished a bottle yesterday, on Tuesday. And it’s Wednesday, and she’s drinking. Of course.

“Maybe I will.” He shrugged, tossing his own jacket on the chair by him. He kneeled down, gathering the papers in front of him. “Where do I put it all?”

“School stuff goes on the desk behind you. Painting and writing goes on this desk, and you can just toss the clothes on my bed.” She answered, obviously not paying attention to him. He glanced up, and seeing a notebook in her hand, bowed his head back down. He knew better by now than to try and talk to Jackie while she was writing. Slowly, he gathered all of the stuff in front of him, separating it all into piles as he organized this chaotic mess in front of him.

How could one person be so good at so many things? He stared at the tiny drawings, the paint smears, the words scribbled on paper, marveling at them all. True, Zayn could paint, play drums and sing, but it was nothing like this. Jackie was an absolute genius, a renaissance man in every sense of the term. He couldn’t help but wonder if she could sing as well with a smile on his face. She had never sang for them, leaving that to Perrie every time. And she had only played instruments in front of them a few times, and it was only when she thought no one was looking. Maybe she was even more talented than she appeared.

“How are you so organized?” Jackie asked suddenly, breaking the easy silence that had settled over them. Liam looked up, smirked, then looked back down to the piles that had grown large in front of him. 

“How are you not?”

Jackie grinned back, setting the notebook and bottle to the side. “Touché.” She stood, walking over to her dresser. “Mind if I get ready for bed while you clean my room for me?”

“Organize.” Liam corrected. He gave a disdainful look to the carpeting, “No way am I gonna attempt to clean this pigsty.”

Jackie snorted, focusing on taking her contacts out. “Now you see why I don’t bother.” She moved from the mirror over to her bed, and Liam tried hard not to look while she changed. He really did. It was a valiant effort, but it was all in vain as he watched her slide her pajamas on, covering up the exposed skin he had glimpsed at. When she was done, she sat back on her stool, taking another swig of whiskey and watching him clean. Suddenly there was a flash, and he looked up to see her smiling with her phone out.

“Did you take a picture of me?”

“I’m documenting how my personal maid does his work!” Jackie grinned, taking another picture.

“No! Stop!” Liam laughed, lunging forward to try and grab her phone. She held it away form him, and he stepped over the piles to grab at it again.

“Say cheese!” Another flash, and the picture popped up on the screen of Jackie taking a selfie with an annoyed looking Liam standing in the background.

“No, that’s a horrible picture!” Liam protested, reaching for her phone once again. She smirked at him, “Then lean in and take a better one with me.” He paused, quirking an eyebrow, then leaned down beside her and smiled into the camera while she snapped a picture.

“That flash is blinding, really.” Liam rubbed his eyes, standing up, and blinked them open once again when no response came. He saw Jackie sitting on her stool, smiling up at him. “What?” he asked, touching his face. Had he gotten paint on him while cleaning? Er, organizing?

“Nothing. It was a good picture.” She looked down at the piles on the floor, watching them, and Liam took that opportunity to setting them on their appropriate desk. He looked around on the floor, and finding nothing else to pick up, looked back to Jessie.

“Um, I should probably be going” He said quietly, with a glance to his watch. “You know, classes in like eight hours and all.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jackie said, shooting him a small smile. “Thanks for taking me to the beach tonight. I had fun.”

Liam nodded, smiling down at his shoes while he grabbed his jacket. “Yeah, me too.” He looked over his shoulder to her, hand on the doorknob. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, Jackie.”

She shrugged with a grin, “If I sleep at all.” With one more shared smile, Liam turned and left, closing the door behind him with reluctance. Every step away from her dorm was a step he forced himself to take, if only consoling himself that he’d see her in his first class tomorrow. And he could barely wait that long.

 

*****

 

“Hey, guys! We’ve got a new song for you guys to do for the next gig.” Jackie announced, looking at the boys standing in front of her. Alice was currently at a study session, and Perrie was standing slightly behind her, waiting for her cue.

“It’s a fun one, and Zayn, you’re gonna have fun, because there’s a lot of drums in this song.” She grinned, passing out copies of the sheet music to everyone. “Actually, it’s mostly drums. So! We’re gonna run through it really fast. Perrie?”

So Perrie stepped forward, singing through it while Jackie called out instructions for their instruments and how she wanted it to be played. When she finished, everyone was nodding, seeming to get as excited as her. All, except for Niall. He was staring down at the paper in his hands with wide eyes and red cheeks.

“Jackie, is this about what I think it’s about?” His head snapped up, blue eyes almost fearful. The boys all turned to look at him, confusion written clearly on their faces.

“Nialler, what are you going on about?” Louis asked, and Liam made a face. “Niall, it says summer ’09. You could’ve only been, what, 14?”

“Unless Nialler got started early!” Louis giggled and elbowed Zayn, who in turn looked back to Niall.

“Yeah, it is.” Jackie answered with a smirk, and Niall blushed even harder, which Perrie didn’t think was possible. 

“You wrote about when we lost our virginities?” He squeaked. “That’s like, an invasion of privacy! I could sue!”

“But it’s such a good song!” Jackie protested. “It works so perfectly!”

“Hold up.” Louis held his hands up, looking from Jackie to Niall. “We? We lost our virginities?”

Jackie stared at him blankly. “Yeah. We took each other’s virginities.”

“When you were 14?”

“On a beach?”

“Niall, you dog!”

“Did you really tell him to rock you?”

“Was he really playing guitar?”

“Well, damn, dude.”

“Were you dating then?”

“I thought you dated senior year?”

“Oh my God, stop!” Jackie held her hands up, stopping all conversation. “Yes, we took each other’s virginities on the beach when we were 14. No, we were best friends, and we thought it’d be good to do it with someone we trusted and had fun with, so it wouldn’t be awkward. And no, I didn’t fucking say rock me. I said the more rated R version.” She made a face at Harry, who had asked that question.

“So…you guys did it before you dated?” Liam asked again, and Niall hid his face in his paper.

“Yes.” Jackie answered, hands on her hips. “Now, are we done picking apart Niall and I’s sex life? Because I’d like to run through this song a couple times today so we’ll be ready for the gig this weekend. Okay? Okay. Now, go to your instruments, please.”

Liam looked down at the floorboards beneath him, mulling over what he had just learned. So it was Niall who had taken her to the beach before. It made sense, they did live super close to it. This must have been the song she was writing last night as he was organizing her papers.

Mentally, he kicked himself for having hoped she had written a song about him. Of course she wouldn’t have. For one, she was dating Louis. Second, she had dated Niall. Third, he was just a friend. Why would she ever write a song about him? With his mouth set in a determined line, he reached and picked up his guitar, waiting for Jackie to come over and teach the melody to him and Niall.

 

*****

 

“Jackie? You here?” Harry peered through the crack of Jackie’s open dorm door, doubting he was heard over the music that was blasting out of it. He sighed, pushing the door open more. “Jackie?” Stepping into the room, he frowned. She wasn’t in here. The day before their midterm project was due, and she wasn’t in her room working on it? Then he frowned, looking at the ground of the room.

It was clean. In all of Harry’s time that he’d known Jackie (just about a semester’s length) her floor in her dorm room had never been clean. There were no scraps of paintings, no papers with words scrawled on them, no clothes, no shoes, no song lyrics—

Hold on. Were those song lyrics?

Harry stepped forward, past the desk with her laptop on it that was blasting the music, looking at the single piece of paper lying on the ground near her ottoman. Curious, he picked it up, glancing over the words scribbled down in her hasty handwriting.

The end of the night, we should say goodbye, but we carry on while everyone’s gone. Never felt like this before, are we friends or are we more? As I’m walking towards the door, I’m not sure.

Harry’s eyebrows lifted slightly. This song was most certainly not about Louis, considering she should know by now after two months of dating if they were more than friends.

But baby if you say you want me to stay, I’ll change my mind. Cause I don’t wanna know I’m walking away if you’ll be mine. Won’t go, won’t go, so baby if you say you want me to stay, stay for the night, I’ll change my mind.

Harry continued reading, completely intrigued. He could almost picture the melody in his head, helped along by the few scratched out music notes on the margin of the paper.

Lean in when you laugh, we take photographs. There’s no music on, but we dance along. 

“The fuck are you doing in my room?”

Harry jumped then, completely unsettled as the music abruptly stopped. He spun around to find Jackie, giving him an amused look with one eyebrow raised. He sighed, putting his hand on his chest dramatically. “You scared me!”

“Good. You impeded on my privacy.” Finally, Jackie’s gaze landed on the paper in Harry’s hands, and her expression tightened ever so slightly, so slightly in fact, Harry barely noticed. “What are you doing.” It wasn’t a question, so much as a prodding sentence with a hint of worry in her voice.

“Reading the song you wrote. It’s really good.” He lifted it up, turning to fully face her. “Is it for us?”

Jackie jumped forward and pulled it out of his hands, smoothing the slight crinkle on the corner. “It was supposed to be for me, actually.”

Harry frowned again, confused. “Are you going to perform it? For the class?”

Jackie sighed, not at all annoyed at his easy confusion. Harry liked that about her, how she never really got annoyed with him. She understood that his mind may work a step behind, his mouth spoke a little slower than others, and sure she teased him for it—but she never truly got mad or annoyed. She took it for what it was, was patient enough to take the time to answer all his questions he had, and God only knows how many he had.

“No.” She answered, walking past Harry over to her desk. “I mean, it was for my eyes only. To sort some things out.” She turned suddenly, watching Harry carefully. “How close are you to Louis?”

Not as close as I’d like to be is what he wanted to say, but no, this is Louis’ girlfriend, he can’t just say things like that. So he settled for, “Pretty close, but he’s closer with Liam and Niall, probably,” with a half shrug, and left it at that.

Jackie nodded, one of those slow nods that meant she was thinking things over. And Harry understood slow nods and slow thinking, it was all he was capable of. So he waited and continued standing, watching Jackie’s carefully composed face as she obviously debated what to say.

“We’ve been dating for two and a half months now.” Was what came out, and Harry simply nodded, waiting for her to go on with a misplaced sense of curiosity. Was something not right about their relationship? Was there trouble in paradise? Harry’s insides coiled over each other, having mixed feelings about the conversation ahead. While trouble for them was good news for Harry, it was bad for them. And while he would absolutely love having an even better shot at finally getting with Louis, he would absolutely hate it if that meant Louis and Jackie were unhappy, and his friend’s happiness was more important than his own.

“He told me he loves me.” Jackie continued, and Harry flinched internally. Yes, he’d heard Louis’ drunk ramblings about how much he loved everything about Jackie, but it was another thing entirely to know that Louis had made his feelings known to her.

“I didn’t say it back.”

Harry absolutely froze then, and his gaze went from the candle that was slowly burning on her desk to Jackie’s face. Gone was the careful composure, the carefree expression he had come to know. In its’ place was worry, confusion, and a hint of anger, maybe? She turned to look at him, holding the paper in front of her like she was presenting a paper to a professor that she knew she had bombed.

“Remember when I said I had a long term relationship in High School? For a year and a half?” She went on, and Harry remained standing, gaze locked on Jackie. “And remember how Niall and I dated? Well, he…he was that long term relationship.” She ran her hand through her hair, staring down at the lyrics. “And you know, we were the best of friends when we started dating. And it was perfect, you know? We got along great and we did everything normal lovestruck couples did, sex included. But I didn’t date him because I loved him. In fact, I never said I did.” She gave a small laugh, “And I feel bad, looking back now. Because he was obviously more invested in it than I was. I mean, we took each other’s virginities, and then dated a couple years later, and in all that time, I never loved him. At least not in that way. But I stayed with him, because it was safe.” 

Jackie sighed again and turned away, setting the paper down on her desk. Harry stayed where he was, staying so so quiet and so so still because how did this relate to Louis and holy shit that’s a long time to date and she was never in love?

“He was safe. The whole relationship was safe. It was because we were best friends and I knew it was easy. No real emotions, just fun and sex. I didn’t have to worry about getting my heart broken or anything.” Finally, her gaze shifted up to Harry. “And you know what, I think I’ve just realized that Louis’ safe, too.”

And holy shit. There it was. Harry blinked a few times, not sure if he was hearing it right.

“He says he loves me.” Jackie shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe he thinks he does. I personally think he just loves me for the sex and stuff. But for me…all those songs I write, the ones about love and stuff, that’s not what I get when I look at him. None of those feelings are involved, because he’s safe.” She looked up at Harry, expression incredibly troubled and confused. “He’s safe, Harry. I don’t have to worry about feelings with him, because there’s none. Nothing romantic whatsoever. It’s like looking at you, or Alice, or Perrie, or Niall or Zayn or—“ And she freezes, hand in the air, expression softening. She stands there for a minute, and Harry can feel the pain and longing in her expression, because he knows. He fucking knows that look. It’s the same look that’s on his face every time he even hears Louis’ voice, he’s sure of it. There’s someone Jackie wants, badly, someone she can’t have and doesn’t even know how to go about it.

Finally, with a weighted sigh, her hand drops, and she sits on the floor, studying her carpet and picking at a bit of dried paint. Harry sits as well, feeling her pain right along with her.

“Love is about the little things, right?” She asks quietly, and Harry knows she’s not actually asking, just musing the question aloud. So he sits and listens, focuses also on the bit of paint in front of her. 

“Love is about loving their laugh. About how just their voice makes your chest tighter. How their tiny habits become something you look forward to, how the squint in their eyes makes your own crinkle, how dancing around when no music’s playing with them is suddenly the best night of your life, because you’re with them, you’re doing it with them, and that’s all that matters in the world.” She stopped, looking up at Harry, green eyes troubled and sad. “It’s about not being safe. And going for it.” Harry nods, swallowing the lump in his throat.

She reached up, grabbing the lyrics off her desk and handing them back to Harry. “Funny how it took me two safe relationships before I found someone who could change my mind.” Harry took the lyrics from her, mind buzzing. “These are about a certain person, obviously, so the meaning’s different for me, but I’ve got a feeling you know how it goes, and you can use ‘em to get out the words you can’t say.” Harry’s head snapped up, green eyes meeting green eyes. One pair calm and a tad remorseful, the other a blinding mix of worry and fear.

“I’m sorry?” He asked, voice unsteady, because what?

Jackie gave a half shrug. “I get the feeling you know how I feel. So you can use these lyrics to get it out in the open and let your feelings out, since we know I’m kind of previously engaged. You’d treat him better anyways.”

And that’s when Harry stands up abruptly, mind reeling while Jackie gave him a small, sad, knowing smile. He opens his mouth, at a loss of what to say, because Jackie knows. Jackie knows. Jackie fucking knows.

“I gotta go meet up with Bryce.” He rushes out, breath coming in halting gasps. She gives him another smile and nods, staying on the floor.

“Yeah, you go ahead. I’ve gotta mess up this room so I can make Liam clean it again.” She smirks, giving Harry a pointed look and now he gapes again, because he knows. Now he knows who she’s changing her mind for, who she’s willing to risk her safety for.

And his chest is about to burst with exactly how much he feels for her. And his chest is about to absolutely explode because he knows something she doesn’t.

“I’ll catch ya later. Good luck, Jackie.” He gives her a soft smile, backing out of the room slowly. He closes the door after taking one last look at the girl sitting in the middle of the floor, looking even more confused than when she started.

 

*****

 

“Hello, class.” Jackie greeted, standing in the auditorium and looking at the students and few teachers who had come to watch the midterm presentations. “For my midterm project, I chose to do a group presentation. Working with me on this project were Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards. For our project, we wrote and arranged a song for them to play for you, and it’s called Story of My Life. So, here we go!” She turned, walking to the small area in the front of the stage that the conductor stood at, and the curtains opened to the boys sitting onstage with their instruments. With a small count from Jackie, Niall began playing his guitar, a quiet but quick acoustic melody echoing around the auditorium. Harry stepped forward, beginning the song.

“Written on these walls are the stories that I can’t explain. Leave my heart open, but it stays right here empty for days.”

Liam next, “She told me in the morning that she don’t feel the same about us in her bones. It seems to me that when I die, the words will be written on my stone.”

Jackie cued Louis off to the side, who added a layer of melody over Niall’s as Zayn began singing, “And I’ll be gone, gone tonight. The ground beneath my feet is open wide. The way that I’ve been holding on too tight, with nothing in between.”

A big gesture for the full band to begin playing, and all the boys came together for the chorus, Harry singing loudly over them, “The story of my life, I take her home, I drive all night to her warm, and time is frozen. The story of my life, I give her hope, I spend her love, until she’s broke inside. The story of my life.”

Jackie gestured for the music to quiet down, and Niall began the next verse, “Written on these walls are the colors that I can’t change. Leave my heart open, but it stays right here in its cage.”

Liam again, “I know that in the morning now, I see us in the light upon the hill. Although I am broken, my heart is untamed still.”

Louis began playing the keyboard again, a sad smile on his face as he sang, “And I’ll be gone, gone tonight. The fire beneath my feet is burning bright. The way that I’ve been holding on so tight, with nothing in between.”

They played the chorus again, slightly louder than the last time. At the end of it, with a big gesture, Jackie quieted them, and Zayn sang into his microphone, “And I’ve been waiting for this time, to come around. But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds.”

Suddenly Jackie waved her hands, signaling everyone to be absolutely silent. They followed her direction, confused, because this isn’t how they rehearsed it. But Jackie seemed sure of it, and she pointed at Niall, gesturing to play super quietly and slow. Liam had no idea what was going on, but Niall seemed to understand what she was trying to get him to understand as he sang the first part of the chorus quietly.

“The story of my life, I take her home, I drive all night to keep her warm and time, is frozen.” Then Jackie was bringing her hands upwards, and Niall began playing louder, and everyone joined in, and with a huge gesture from Jackie, the boys poured every ounce of feeling and volume into the final part of the chorus, finishing strong. With Harry’s final line finished, Jackie cut them off on cue, and everyone relaxed as the applause began, louder than it had been for anyone else’s performance.

“Well done! Well done!” Their professor came out on stage, clapping loudly. “You’ve outdone yourself once again, Miss Winter! Congratulations to you boys as well! Well done!” Then he ushered them off the stage, the curtains closing on the boys as they watched him shake hands with Jackie. 

Louis was positive they would get an A, so he bounced around backstage from person to person, telling everyone to go to the soccer frat house tonight to celebrate, and then to come to their concert that Saturday night. Everyone backstage readily agreed, as well as everyone else he came across in the auditorium and hallways the rest of the day.

“Jackie, you were absolutely amazing.” Louis wrapped his arms around her waist, spinning her around as he leaned in to kiss her. As he pulled away, he glanced over her shoulder just in time to see Harry looking away, a pained look on his face. Ignoring the twisting feeling in his gut, Louis threw an arm around Jackie’s shoulder, directing her over to the other boys, already making a list out loud of the alcohol they would need for tonight.

 

*****

 

Winter break passed almost without them noticing. Jackie and Niall lived only a half an hour from the University, so everyone was constantly coming out to stay with them. Jackie and her father lived in an old farmhouse, so they had plenty of extra room, and her father welcomed the extra help with feeding the animals in the morning, as that was the only compensation he asked for in exchange for housing her friends all break long. 

All break long they rehearsed in Jackie’s barn with whoever was there, and on the one weekend where they were able to get everyone there at once, Perrie and Alice announced they were switching their majors.

“I’ve been thinking about mine since the start of the school year.” Perrie shrugged, sitting on the workbench while Zayn leaned up beside her with a beer in his hand. Jackie and Niall were passing around the apple pie moonshine her father had made, all of them thankful for the warm California weather even in December. 

“So, as of the first day of our second semester, I’ll be a Music Education major!” She grinned, finishing, and everyone cheered, raising their glasses for her. Alice followed up a few minutes later from Niall’s lap with her announcement.

“And, since Perrie was the brave one and did it first, she convinced me to follow suit, and I am now a full-fledged Dance and Choreography major!” She swatted Niall’s hand away and continued, “I even already got a spot working in our school’s theater department under the other Choreographer there.”

Everyone cheered again, and Jackie raised her glass, “Look at our little girls, taking charge of their future!”

“Jackie, I’m almost a full year older than you.” Alice laughed, leaning back as Niall wrapped his arms around her waist. Everyone laughed again, drawing closer together to keep out the cold.

 

*****

 

Harry continued fiddling with the guitar, not really knowing how to play, but wanting something to fill this stupid silence that had settled between him and Liam. Liam had been in a bad mood since their soccer match today, where he had missed an easy goal and cost them the game. Harry had tried to insist that it was just an intramural game for about twenty minutes, but Liam refused to even talk the entire walk over to the music building. Now they were in their usual rehearsal room, and had been for 17 minutes and counting, and Liam had done absolutely nothing except play the same riff over and over again on the electric guitar in the corner of the room. As far as Harry could tell, it wasn’t for any of the songs they had already written. But he needed to do something to get Liam out of this slump. What made Liam happy? He wasn’t as close with this guy as Louis and Niall were, but he had still been there with him that night that Louis and Jackie did it at a party and simultaneously broke both of their hearts. He guessed that counted as some sort of bond, although it was clear as day to anyone watching (except maybe Louis, who was oblivious to absolutely everything) that Liam was still just as in love with her as he had been from the start.

“Hey Liam.”

“Harry, if you’re gonna tell me it’s just a game one more time…”

“No! I’m not!” Harry set the guitar down, walking slowly over to where Liam stood, adjusting the tuning knobs on the instrument. “I’ve got an idea.”

Liam didn’t speak, only stopped playing and looked at him warily. So, Harry took that as a sign to continue. “You know how Jackie’s been so nice to us and all? Like, she’s written a ton of songs for us. So what if we wrote one for her?”

Liam quirked an eyebrow. “For her?”

Harry shrugged, “Or maybe about her or something. I dunno. I just feel like she deserves something, even if she doesn’t know it’s about her just yet.” He paused, watching Liam carefully. Surely writing about Jackie was enough to lift Liam’s spirits, even a little bit.

“Yeah, okay.” Liam nodded, playing with a few more chords on the guitar, slowly turning it into some sort of choppy melody. “What did you have in mind?”

For the next few minutes, they worked on some sort of first verse, then it became apparent they needed a little outside help with the beat and melody for the chorus. Hesitantly, Harry suggested calling the other boys, knowing how much Liam probably didn’t want to see Louis talking about Jackie. But without complaint, he agreed, and so they showed up a few minutes later, Zayn going immediately to the drum set. Once a melody was worked out and finalized, they began on the lyrics.

Which, Harry thought, had always been the hardest part for them, considering none of them were very good with words.

“Jackie’s never really worn a dress though.” Niall protested, frowning.

Louis rolled his eyes, “Doesn’t matter, it paints a good picture. But what about only one guy taking her home? I get to sing that because I’m her boyfriend, right?”

Liam sighed, “Yes, Louis, you can sing that part. But what about this chorus? Should we keep going with the ‘addicted to letting go’ or take it a different direction?”

“What if instead of being addicted, we talked about like, running wild?” Zayn said, a slight smirk on his lips. “Maybe because she’s like, not afraid of being a little crazy and all the attention or whatever.”

“She’s not afraid!” Louis pointed at Zayn, then spun around on the ground to look at Harry. “That’s good, yeah? She’s not afraid of running wild?”

Harry grinned at him across the circle. They were sitting on the floor (except for Zayn, who stayed in his seat at the drums) with candles lit on the piano above, just like Jackie had done every time she brought them together for songwriting. Maybe they thought it was good luck, or something.

“Yeah, it’s good.” He nodded, and Liam continued, pen clicking in hand, “Okay, so, she’s not afraid of attention, running wild…what else?”

“Scary movies.” Harry offered, remembering with a chill when she had made him sit and watch all of the Saw movies with her.

“Oh, she’s definitely not afraid of the dark.” Louis smirked, waving his hands in a downward motion to indicate her curves. “Or of kissing in the dark, if you know what I’m saying.”

“Okay, as much as I don’t want to picture that,” Niall frowned again, making a disgusted face, “I feel like that kind of fits. Liam, whatcha got?”

Liam scribbled a few more words down, then, “She’s not afraid of all the attention, of running wild. She’s not afraid of scary movies, and kissing in the dark.” He looked up, “How do we finish this, though? And maybe make it sound like more of a song?”

“What is she afraid of?” Zayn asked, looking at Louis, who in turn looked at Niall, who shrugged. “Who knows? Jackie’s literally never been afraid of anything. She was the one that killed spiders when we found em in High School.” While everyone laughed and teased Niall, Harry’s mind was churning, stomach almost tied in knots as he came up with an idea.

“Why’s she so afraid of falling in love?” He sang, and froze as everyone turned to look at him, then to Louis. Harry saw the way Louis tensed up, how Niall watched him with wide eyes, how Liam looked scared out of his mind. Everyone held their breath, not knowing how Louis would react.

Slowly, he nodded, avoiding all eye contact and staring at the notebook in Liam’s lap. “Yeah, yeah. Good lyrical contrast, or whatever she’d call it. Let’s run with that.” And then everyone let out the breath they had been holding, adding a small part just before the chorus, finishing out the rest of the song, and by the time they presented it to Jackie tomorrow at rehearsal, they had even worked out who sings what part.

It started with the little guitar part Liam had come up with, Harry sang, “She sneaks out in the middle of the night, yeah, tight dress with the top cut low. She’s addicted to the feeling of letting go, oh whoa, let it go.”

“She walks in and the room just lights up,” Louis sang next, smirking down at Jackie, who sat on the piano bench watching them, “But she don’t want anyone to know that I’m the only one that gets to take her home, oh whoa, take her home.”

Liam stepped forward, and Harry thought he may have let a little too much truth slip into the song, “But every time I tell her that I want more, she closes the door.”

And all of them for the chorus, “She’s not afraid of all the attention, she’s not afraid of running wild. How come she’s so afraid of falling in love? She’s not afraid of scary movies, she likes the way we kiss in the dark, but she’s so afraid of falling in love, love.”

Niall stepped forward with Louis, arm around him as he sang, “Maybe she’s just trying to test me, wanna see how hard I’m gonna work. Wanna see if I can really tell how much she’s worth, what you’re worth.”

Louis smirked, looking to Niall, “Maybe all her friends have told her, don’t get closer, he’ll just break your heart.”

Niall shrugged, “But either way she’s teasing me, and it’s just so hard, so hard.”

Liam again, leading up to the chorus, “Cause every time I tell her how I feel, she says it’s not real.” 

They all jumped around, and Alice was laughing as she watched them try and dance and play their instruments at the same time. Once the chorus was over, Harry stepped forward, the music quieted and slowed,”What about all the things we said, talking on the phone so late, I can’t let her get away from me, oh.” And Zayn walked forward, music completely cut out, “When I say that I can’t do it no more, she’s back in my door.”

Niall laughed at the face Zayn made, and they all launched into the final chorus, Zayn singing higher than everyone in a way he knew Perrie would approve of. And as the song ended, they froze, all watching and waiting for Jackie to speak.

Slowly, she stood up, a small smirk on her face. “You boys wrote that yourselves? Wow, looks like you don’t need me anymore! That was great!”

“No, don’t leave us!” Louis whined. “Writing songs is horrendous and it’s a miracle we pulled this off. We definitely need you.”

“We just wanted to show you what all you’ve helped us to do so far.” Harry beamed, coming up to stand beside Louis.

Jackie laughed, “Good, I don’t want my first band getting so full of themselves just yet. But that was actually really good!” She jumped up onto the stage, and all of the boys were looking at each other, because no way was this song the one song Jackie would deem perfect and not try to fix.

“Okay, Zayn and Harry, that last part before the chorus? Let’s run through that again, except this time, Harry, I want the music to continue playing behind your solo…”

Harry laughed and stepped forward, easily going along with Jackie’s directions. There was the girl they knew. He looked over to Liam, who was watching Jackie with a small smile on his face. He looked back down to his feet, not wanting to ruin Liam’s private moment. Only it wasn’t so private, because everyone could see it, everyone saw it as Jackie told them they should play this at their next gig, and she had a new idea for a song, and come on guys, let’s go! 

She gathered everyone to the center of the room again, and Louis plopped down lazily next to Harry, leaning against him as Jackie turned the lights off and lit the candles again. He smiled to himself, hoping his moment with Louis was a tad more private.

Although he doubted it, with the way Perrie practically threw the notebook and pen down onto him.

 

*****

 

Harry took a deep breath, preparing himself to knock on Jackie’s door. Was he really about to do this? Would it even change anything? It seemed to have worked for Niall and Alice, and Perrie had been absolutely delighted when Zayn wrote a song for her. Jackie had even said before that songs were a great way to get out what you couldn’t say, so this was the only chance he had. He knocked gently on her door, biting his lip in worry.

“Harry? What’s up?” Jackie asked, paint making a smear across her chin. 

Harry dropped his gaze to the floor before looking back up to her and speaking. “Mind if I come in? I kind of need some help with something.”

Jackie nodded, opening the door wider. “Yeah, of course. Perrie’s here, want me to send her out?”

Harry shook his head, smiling at the blonde seated at a desk as he walked in. “No, this is perfect, actually. Both of your opinions are appreciated.” He handed the small bottle of whiskey he had brought to Jackie before taking a seat on the floor, carefully avoiding the wet painting that was in the center of the carpet. She beamed, walking over him.

“Okay, you brought me whiskey, I’m definitely helping you now.” She laughed, going to her desk to pull out some cups and some ice cubes from the fridge. “Perrie, want any?”

Perrie frowned at her, “You know I don’t like whiskey.”

“I have some coke to mix with.”

“Well…” Perrie bit her lip, hesitating since it was actually only Wednesday, and 7 at night. “Fine, yeah. But not too much!”

Jackie grinned, then turned to pour the glasses and hand them out before plopping down across from him. “So, what can we help you with?”

Harry took a deep breath, setting his cup down. “Well, as you know, I’ve been harboring feelings for someone for a while now, and I’m kind of getting sick of waiting.”

“Louis.” Jackie nodded, and Perrie started, looking down at her in surprise.

“Wait, you know?” She asked, and Jackie nodded. “How the hell are you so calm about it?”

Jackie shrugged. “Basically I know Harry would treat him better and I seem to be unsure as of where I want the relationship to go, so I’m just sitting back and letting what’s gonna happen, happen.”

“Jackie, you’re insane.”

“Jury’s still out on that.” She shrugged, looking back to Harry. “What do you want us to do about that?”

“I want to write a song for him.” He stated, wringing his hands together. “You’ve told me that it’s a good way to get your feelings out, and I feel like if I can reach out to him that way, maybe something will happen. I know it’s kind of stupid and hopeless, but I just want something to happen.” He sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I know I’m pathetic, and Perrie’s told me before that I’m still expecting something great to happen that probably won’t because of the situation at hand.”

Jackie nodded slowly, staring down at her painting. Harry looked as well, staring at the disorganized-looking collision of blue and red on the canvas. It was a dizzying mess, looking as if the two colors were at war. 

“Let’s write a song then.”

“Jackie, are you crazy?” Perrie asked again, voice creeping higher. “You’re actually writing a song that’s going to encourage Louis to leave you and date Harry instead?”

“Perrie, do you believe in soulmates?” Jackie asked suddenly, spinning around to look her dead in the eye intensely. Perrie hesitated, then nodded, and Jackie continued. “Good, because I believe strongly in that. I also believe that the heart instinctually knows when the person you’re with is not your soulmate. I know that Louis and I are a good match for one another, but I know that we’re not meant to be together forever. I’m not the one for him, and he’s not the one for me.” She lifted her hand to gesture to the people in the room with her. “Now, over the course of the year, I’ve witnessed the way Zayn stares at you and the way you look back at him. You two are the perfect match, and of that I’m absolutely certain. I’m really good with this kind of thing, I have been forever. Ask Niall. Speaking of him, Niall and Alice are that way as well. Someday, they’re going to figure out what they need to do to make things work and they’re going to have the most beautiful love story ever written. Now, compare that to the way Harry stares at Louis when he thinks no one can see him. Compare that to the way they speak about each other, the way they defend each other even if it was just a joke. Compare that to the things they do for each other, to the way Louis fucking gazes at Harry. He thinks I can’t see it, but I can. I’ve noticed it, and I know you have, too. They’re both so in love with each other it’s painful for me to keep them apart. But I don’t want to be the one to put their love story in motion.” Jackie’s hands and mouth were moving a mile a minute, eyes desperate as she tried to get them to understand.

“You and Zayn didn’t need any help to get your story going. You two were perfect and your story was in motion from the moment you met. Niall and Alice started off with a bang, then the fire’s done nothing but explode between them since then. Sure, they may need a little guidance, but they know where they’re supposed to go deep down. I don’t want to be the one to initiate things between Louis and Harry.” She quieted, biting her lip. “If I break up with Louis, that starts the beginning of their story. Louis won’t break up with me because he’s scared, I know he is. But they need to do it on their own, they need to start it all. If Harry writes this song, that’s him starting it, and me just helping him along. That’s the start of their story, continued on from when he wrote Happily back in November.”

“Harry wrote that? For Louis?” Perrie said, glancing from Jackie to Harry.

Jackie nodded. “I mean, I helped him, because we know he’s not that good at writing, but yeah. All him.”

Perrie quieted, looking down at the cup in her hands. She seemed to be thinking it over, and in a weird sense, Harry thought Jackie was right. It was twisted, it was weird, and it definitely was not how the typical love story went, but then again, none of them were really typical kinds of people. But she was right.

“Alright, then get to it.” Perrie said, sitting back. “Let’s see what you got.”

They worked for four hours that night, getting the words absolutely perfect before going to the room they usually met in early the next morning to work on the music. By around four o clock, it was finished, and Jackie texted everyone to come meet them to learn their new song.

“Alright, ready guys?” Jackie asked, then began playing the simple melody on guitar. After a few beats, Harry began singing, eyes closed, more nervous than he’s ever been.

“One day you’ll come into my world and say it all. You’ll say we’ll be together even when you’re lost. One day you’ll say these words I’ve thought but never said. You’ll say we’re better off together in our bed.”

Perrie began singing behind him, “I want you here with me, like how I pictured it, so I don’t have to keep imagining. Come on, jump out at me, come on, bring everything. Is it too much to ask for something great?”

Jackie smirked, watching Louis’ face as Harry opened his eyes and began singing directly to him. 

“The script was written and I could not change a thing. I want to rip it all to shreds and start again. One day I’ll come into your world and get it right. I’ll say we’re better off together here tonight. I want you here with me, like how I pictured it, so I don’t have to keep imagining. Come on, jump out at me, come on, bring everything. Is it too much for something great?”

Harry looked away while Jackie played the instrumental, and Liam couldn’t help but smile. Of course she could play, and well, too! Harry sang the chorus twice more, then stepped forward as the guitar part almost completely cut out.

“You’re all I want, so much it’s hurting.” He closed his eyes again, “You’re all I want, so much it’s hurting…” Then Jackie finished playing, and everyone began cheering loudly. 

“That’s gotta be one of the best songs you’ve written!” Niall proclaimed, giving Jackie a hug. “And who knew you were that good at guitar? You certainly weren’t the last time we played together!” Everyone offered similar compliments before Jackie brushed them off and began telling them what parts each of them were to sing, preparing to have them go through a run through.

Louis was frozen, standing slightly behind everyone with his eyes staring at the piano in front of him. Harry watched him with worried eyes. Had he gone too far? Did he completely ruin any scrap of a chance he had?

“I’ve got a meeting with my advisor, I’ll meet up with you all later.” Louis announced suddenly, leaving the room without making eye contact with any of them. Helplessly, Harry looked at Jackie, who shrugged as if she wasn’t worried one bit.

“Doesn’t matter. He only sings the last two lines anyways.”

 

*****

 

A short, hard knock sounded at Harry’s door, interrupting his focus on his homework. He looked towards the door, confused. None of his friends knocked like that. Jackie usually shouted along with hers, Liam tapped out a rhythm and Niall just kept knocking until you answered. Who could it be? It sounded once again, so he set his book on his desk and sauntered over, opening the door, not knowing who to expect. 

“Hey, Harry.”

“Louis?” Harry said, brow furrowing. “Louis, it’s like, past midnight. On a Wednesday. What are you doing up? And how did you even get into the building?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Louis answered quickly, pushing past him and into the dorm room. “Bryce not here?”

Harry closed the door slowly, watching Louis carefully. “Uh, yeah. He went home sick, remember? Strep throat?”

Louis nodded quickly, “Course, course, yeah.” His hands were on his hips, and he was staring hard at the floor, and Harry was so off put, because who was this tense boy in front of him? Louis was never anything but bursting smiles and laughter and energy. What was wrong?

“You alright, Lou?” Harry asked quietly, and Louis’ head snapped up at his voice, blue eyes troubled beyond belief as he stared at Harry’s face.

“See, that’s the thing.” He said, mouth twisted as he attempted his usual tone, only just falling short. “I have this problem, and it’s so absolutely ridiculous, because it’s never actually been a problem before, ever. And I can’t imagine why it would suddenly come out of nowhere, especially now.”

Harry remained confused, but he took a seat on Bryce’s bed. “I’m listening.”

Louis sat on Harry’s bed, on the opposite side of the room. His hands were clenched together, knee bouncing up and down quickly as his words came haltingly, almost as if he was stumbling over words to say. Which never happened, not that Harry knew. 

“Jackie and I have been together for a few months.” Was how he started, and Harry bit his lip. Was this about them? Was it more relationship trouble? While he absolutely was not in the mood to help Louis with his relationship problems, especially after that song he and Jackie had performed today, he remained quiet, because he told himself he’d be there for Louis, be whatever he needed. 

Because that’s what friends do.

Friends.

Right.

Ugh.

“And don’t get me wrong, it’s great.” Louis ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the greasy strands that suggested he hasn’t showered in a couple days. “Like, it’s great. She’s great, even. I mean, we get along so well, and she’s funny, and absolutely brilliant in every way—“ Harry really did not want to hear this— “But something’s just off.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like, between the two of you?” Because Harry would understand something weird about Jackie on her end, because hello, she had all but admitted just before winter break that she was dating the wrong guy.

“No no no, not at all.” Louis said, looking at Harry quickly and then glancing back down to the floor. “It’s nothing to do with her, she’s great, like I said. Also like I said before, I seem to be having this fucking problem that won’t go away and it’s absolutely eating me up inside.” He stood up abruptly, beginning to pace in front of Harry, back and forth, as he continued.

“When Jackie and I started dating, you know, it was just fun, nothing serious. Which I loved about her. And it’s still not serious, and she’s absolutely fantastic and fun and I love her, I really do.” He focused solely on his hands, clenching and unclenching in front of him as he walked. “But the problem is, I think I love someone else as well.”

Harry’s mouth dropped open, because you have to be kidding, they both were having problems with this? And not only that, but who did he love? Who the hell could Louis love besides Jackie? 

“Uh, who is it?”

Louis froze, then continued on, voice and pace much, much slower.

“I mean, it’s been going on for a while. You know, I thought it was just friendship at first, that I really really liked—them, them, as a friend. But then it became more. You know how it goes, Haz. You start watching the little things they do, and loving them, and remembering them, and wanting to surprise them with how well you remember something they said or did. And then their laughter makes your insides turn over on themselves, and just seeing them makes you smile.”

Harry nodded, because yes, he did know how it goes. And he was staring at the painful reminder right in front of him.

Then Louis shook his head. “But it’s so wrong! So wrong, and bad, and I feel absolutely horrible, because I love Jackie…but that’s just it. I just love her. I don’t watch her the way I watch…them. The other one. And isn’t that it? If you love two people, you should go for the second? Johnny Depp said something like that, right?” Louis spun wildly, eyes desperate for confirmation from Harry as he scrambled to make sense with himself.

Harry cleared his throat, this entire conversation ripping his heart apart. “If you love two people, choose the second. Because if you love them as well, then you never really loved the first one. Yeah. Johnny Depp, he said something like that.”

“Right!” Louis exclaimed, beginning his maddening pace. “But it’s so wrong, because I’ve never felt this way about someone like this before. It’s wrong and different and I’m so so scared but I feel so bad for Jackie because I like him—“ Louis froze, eyes wide, realizing he had just let it slip. The big problem.

He was gay.

Or bi.

But he liked a boy.

Harry’s heart began pounding, brain clogged from the static sound that was zipping between his ears.

“Who is it?”

Louis turned to look at Harry, mouth not moving as their eyes met.

Again, Harry asked, with a little more force, “Who is it?”

Time stopped.

The world stopped moving.

Everything in the entire universe froze, waiting on this moment, where Harry’s entire soul was teetering on the edge of it all.

And Louis answered, in a voice so stricken with guilt and pain and confusion and sadness that even the cruelest man would have shed a tear:

“It’s you.”

And in an instant, Harry was up and moving, sweeping Louis into his arms, holding him to his chest as the smaller boy shook, fists angry and clenching at Harry’s shirt, wrapping themselves up in them. 

Harry’s entire body was on fire. After months and months of waiting and hoping, Louis was here, now, admitting he felt something too. The flames raced through his veins, made him dizzy, made him weak in the knees.

And it only got worse.

Because then there was Louis’ mouth, nudging away Harry’s chin and pressing their lips together, causing a ripple to tear through the universe at blinding speeds as their lips connected.

It was everything Harry had ever wanted, anything he had ever needed without even realizing how much he was in love with this boy.

Louis pulled away, shaking and burying his face in Harry’s neck, whispering, “I love you, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry,” over and over and over, and all Harry did was hold on tight, breathing in the scent of his hair—yes, Louis had definitely not showered in two days, but that’s okay, that was definitely okay, everything was okay and would be okay forever.

Because Louis finally loved Harry.

“I love you, too.” Harry whispered back, eyes closing. “I love you, too.”

Two months later, Louis approached Jackie and confessed to cheating on her. To his surprise, she took it well, actually congratulating him on getting together with Harry. He could do nothing but laugh and thank her for being so accepting. It was her reassurance that made it that much easier to come out to his own mom and family, who had nothing but smiles and hugs for him. 

Niall and Alice finally figured it out, figured out how to get through two weeks without arguing. They realized all they had really been doing was trying to help the other, and soon became one of the most passionate and loving couples that Liam had ever seen.

However, there was one person left out of all of this: Jackie. Jackie buried herself in her coursework as all of this was happening, only emerging on Saturdays to go to parties at the soccer frat with them. As soon as they’d get back, she’d disappear into her room again, pumping out new songs like her life depended on it and amazing them all with the one she wrote for their final. Liam could do nothing but try and stay afloat in her wake, hoping to be the lifesaver she would grab onto if she began to drown again.

 

*****

 

Liam scanned his eyes over the lyrics one more time, pacing back and forth in the empty hallway in the music hall. He closed his eyes, silently mouthing the words to himself for the seventh time. Jackie had given him the lead for this final project, and he didn’t want to disappoint her. So he had come here, where it was quiet, to practice endlessly until it was as close to perfect as he could get.

In the middle of his part in the chorus, he paused, turning to look back behind him in the hallway. Was that music he heard? The building closed in an hour, who else would be here? Narrowing his eyes, Liam started back along the long hallways, looking through every doorway to see if that was the room the mysterious song was coming from. He was nearly at the end of the twisting hallways when he realized he recognized the song, and that it was coming from their usual rehearsal room.

“Jackie?” Liam asked, stopping in the doorway. In the center of the room, Jackie sat on a stool, back facing toward him. He had known she was spending more time in here since she and Louis had split, but still, he didn’t expect her to be here. By this time of night, she had usually made her way to either his or her room. Her flannel was on the floor next to her, along with a paper coffee cup, most likely cold and forgotten by now. Her hair cascaded down her back, black tank top hiked up on her waist just far enough to make Liam bite his lip and try to focus on the situation at hand.

“Jackie, what are you doing here so late?” He asked, walking forward and setting his lyrics down on the piano, pushed to the edge of the room.

“I finally finished the song.” Came her quiet reply. Still, she didn’t turn around, and the song had long ceased. He finally noticed the guitar lying in her lap, and his brow furrowed. He hadn’t known she could play the song so well.

“True Love?” He asked, crossing his arms in front of him. “But you finished it months ago, we’ve been singing it at all of our shows.”

She shook her head, looking downwards, and Liam stared at the back of her head, confused. “Nah, it wasn’t done yet. Still in editing. I finally found the words to fit. And it’s not True Love anymore, it’s Truly, Madly, Deeply.”

His brow furrowed even deeper. “Really? But it doesn’t say it anywhere in the song.”

“Now it does.” She sighed, turning around, and Liam finally noticed the dried tracks of tears down her cheeks. His eyes widened and he stepped forward, arms outreached to wrap her in a hug. She held her hand up, stopping him when he was just within arms reach.

“No, wait.” She brought the guitar upwards again, settling into a playing position. “Don’t say anything yet, Liam. Just wait. Listen.” She sighed, then began the melody. Except it was much quicker now, a lighter sound than the song they had sang previously.

“Am I asleep, am I awake or somewhere in between? I can’t believe that you are here and lying next to me. Or did I dream that we were perfectly entwined? Like branches on a tree or twigs caught on a vine. Like all those days and weeks and months I tried to steal a kiss, and all those sleepless nights and daydreams where I pictured this. I’m just the underdog who finally got the girl, and I am not ashamed to tell it to the world.”

Liam frowned, cocking his head to the side as he listened. The song wasn’t so much about dreaming about having someone, it sounded like their dreams had finally come true. Or were they still dreaming of that day? Or maybe it was closer to happening? He put his hands in his pockets, confused, but still listening as she continued.

“Truly, madly, deeply, I am foolishly, completely falling. And somehow you kicked all my walls in, so baby say you’ll always keep me truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you, in love with you.” Jackie slowly picked up the volume, eyes closing. “Should I put coffee and granola on a tray in bed and wake you up with all the words that I still haven’t said? And tender touches to show you how I feel, or should I act so cool, like it was no big deal? Wish I could freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this, or put this day back on replay and keep reliving it. Cause here’s the tragic truth: if you don’t feel the same, my heart would fall apart if someone said your name.”

Liam’s cheeks began to flush, and he mentally kicked himself as he always did for wishing this song was about him. Jackie’s voice lowered as she finished the chorus, and his expression softened when her voice sounded pained.

“I hope I’m not a casualty. I hope you won’t get up and leave. Might not mean that much to you, but to me, it’s everything,” Jackie’s eyes finally opened and she looked directly into Liam’s eyes, “Everything.” There was a slight pause where it was silent as she stared at him and he froze, and she continued into the chorus, eyes never leaving his. 

“Truly, madly, deeply, I am foolishly completely falling. And somehow you kicked all my walls in, so baby say you’ll keep me falling truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love, with you.” The tears began to fall from her eyes again, and she smirked, as if she were laughing at herself, “In love, with you. In love, with you. I’m in love with you.”

The song cut out, and she was still sitting there, smiling up at him as he stood frozen in front of her. There was no way this was happening. There was no way he wasn’t dreaming. Only in his head had he ever pictured this moment, and it had never happened like this.

“See, Liam?” She finally spoke, voice rough from the tears. “I finally figured out how to tell you. And I was so, so, so stupid for not saying it earlier.”

“Jackie…” Liam’s quiet voice trailed off, unable to remove his gaze from her face. “I—really?”

“I know, this is super sudden.” Jackie sighed, being the first one to break the stare. She looked to the ground, setting the guitar aside. “And I completely understand that you probably don’t feel the same anymore. I just—God, it was so hard for me, to do this. Do you realize how long I’ve been in love with you? And I was too afraid to do anything about it, too afraid to admit that I actually had feelings for you.” Her hands clenched at her knees, picking at the ripped denim of her jeans. Liam let her talk, too afraid of what might come tumbling out of his mouth. 

“It all started at the first party.” She laughed, “Oh my God, that party where you were absolutely plastered and you tried to kiss me. Up until that point, you had just been a friend of Niall’s. But after that…after that I started to wish you had kissed me. And it was confusing for me, because I had never really done the whole liking someone thing. And then Louis and I happened, and that was safe and fun and no feelings involved, so I went with it. But when we went skinny dipping, I realized how big of a mistake I had just made. You’re so sweet and innocent—“ She stopped, glancing up at him, “And I liked it. I liked you, a lot. And it only got worse with every song I wrote. Every fucking song that I helped Niall or Zayn or even Harry write, I had you in mind. All of them were for you, saying everything I was too afraid to admit. And now—I can’t hide it anymore. I can’t deny it. I can’t keep pushing it aside because I’m too afraid to admit myself that I’m fucking head over heels for some guy who probably hates me for leading him on.” She laughed, but it was a bitter noise, one more tear making it’s way down her face as she looked up to Liam, eyes connecting. “I’m sorry Liam, but I’m so in love with you. I don’t know what else I can say.”

They both grew silent, just watching each other, and Liam looked down at his shoes, chest about to burst. “Jackie…” He whispered, barely able to say the words aloud for the first time, “Jackie, I love you, too.”

Suddenly lips were pressing against him, making him stumble backwards before his hands gripped her waist for stability. Her hands were on his cheeks, keeping him in place as their lips finally collided, the love story that was months in the making finally coming to light. He smiled against her, tasting the remnants of her tears on her lips. She giggled as he pulled away and set his forehead against hers, smiling down at her.

“Jackie, there’s no way I could ever hate you. Ever.” He kissed the tip of her nose, and her arms encircled his neck, new tears forming. “I don’t care if you would have led me on for seventeen years, I never would have stopped loving you. Ever since the moment I saw you, I wanted you, and then we went to the beach and you were the ocean and the tattoos and cleaning your room and that was when I realized I loved you and I—“ 

She cut him off with a kiss, laughing into his lips. “Shut the fuck up and kiss me, Liam. I think you’ve waited long enough.”

He didn’t need any more provoking, pulling her closer to him and pressing his mouth to hers earnestly. He had indeed waited long enough, and was still not totally convinced he wasn’t dreaming. But, if he was, it was the most perfect dream ever. Because the kiss carried on until he made her leave because the janitor was going to be coming around soon, and even further, back in her room. It continued even after Alice walked in the next morning and Liam was still there, sound asleep on her bed while Jackie was painting, and continued even past Harry bursting in and practically shouting it down the hallway. Throughout the teasing from Louis about “sloppy seconds” and Niall’s boasts about hitting it first, Jackie stayed tight to Liam’s side, firing right back with them not being satisfactory, obviously. He held tight to her hand, too afraid to let go now that he finally had her. Also, he was slightly embarrassed about how easily they were all talking about this, and he needed Jackie’s hand pressing back into his to keep him from melting into a puddle right then and there.

But throughout the teasing and the laughter and the blushing, she stayed put, smiling at him and sneaking kisses when no one was looking and giving him a hard time about his bedhead. But he just grinned at her, like some dopey puppy, because this was how it was meant to be. This is what he had been waiting for all along.

“Stop grinning at me like that, you’re creeping me out. You’re like the fucking chesire cat from Alice in Wonderland.”

Liam smiled even wider—if that was possible—and pulled her closer, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

Jackie grumbled, “Fucking sap,” but nestled her head in between his neck and his shoulder nonetheless, hiding her smile from everyone around them. But Liam could feel it, could feel her lips smiling there against his neck where she had left a hickey the night previous, and could feel it in his heart.

She was finally his. Hell, she could give him a million hickeys, and he wouldn’t care.

_I’m just the underdog who finally got the girl, and I’m not ashamed to tell it to the world._

 

*****

 

“I’m going to rip all of Louis’ hair out if he’s late. I swear to God.”

Liam, with a warm smile, put his hands on Jackie’s shoulders, rubbing them gently. “It’ll be fine, calm down. Louis is usually late, he’ll turn up just in time for Perrie to run through warm ups with him, and it’ll all be okay. It’s fine. It’s just like every other run through.”

“But it’s not!” Jackie shrieked, spinning around to face him. Liam almost laughed at how ridiculous her face looked with this paranoid expression. Alice and Perrie had picked out her dress—a floor length simple black gown with a sweetheart neckline, a few sparkles along the slit up the leg, and she looked very hot, thank you Perrie—and done her make up, and he had never been more in love with her than at this moment.

Well, he thought that at least once a week, so.

“It’s so much bigger. So much more pressure.” Jackie continued, hands tugging at her hair that Alice had worked so hard on curling. “There’s the people from that New York college and the dean from Emerson college and the label representatives, and this is everything.” She looked again to Liam, eyes wide with panic, something very unlike Jackie. “Liam, we’re fucking freshmen. In a senior showcase. What the hell are we doing. Oh my God.”

“Jackie, calm down.” Liam wrapped his arms around her, carefully avoiding her hair because he’d never hear the end of it if he messed it up before the event was over. “You absolutely deserve to be in this senior showcase. I mean, there are seniors in your production.” She scoffed at him, and he gave her a smile before continuing, “But also because no one else could have pulled off something a amazing as this. You’re a genius, brilliant even. And if we don’t have at least half of those labels and colleges banging down your door after this performance, I will personally be throwing a tantrum.” Jackie giggled then, knowing Liam was the type who never ever threw tantrums. 

“So. You got this, alright?” Liam pulled back, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. She really did look absolutely stunning tonight. “I know you do. No need to worry.”

“Exactly, Liam! No need to worry now that I’ve arrived!” Louis burst in, straightening the jacket on him that Perrie provided. They all were in matching black suits, small silver lilies (fake of course, Perrie knew how to be cheap, because hello, they were in college) pinned to their lapels to match Jackie’s dress. The orchestra and other band members were all in black pants and button downs, the girls in black skirts and button downs, similar flowers pinned as well onto them. Perrie was in a dress that looked like Jackie’s, minus the silver sparkles and plus a more tank top design along the top. She also had a flower pinning her blonde curls back as she sprinted up to them, glaring at Louis.

“Tomlinson! You have exactly thirty seconds to be back with the other boys before I rip your vocal chords out!” She screamed, grabbing his and Liam’s arms. 

Louis frowned at her, “And Zayn says you are so sweet.” With an eye roll, he let himself be dragged along, and Alice came up to give Jackie a hug from behind.

“Hey, you ready?” She asked, watching the boys go through their warm ups with Perrie.

Jackie nodded slowly, brow furrowed. “Is the band ready? Ready to take their places and stuff?”

Alice smiled. “Everything’s ready, everything’s perfect.” They stood together for a few minutes, watching the backstage chaos performed around them. Then suddenly a stage hand was pulling Jackie away, telling Alice and Perrie they needed to go to their seats now, telling Jackie to take her place at the front of the stage. 

Numb with nerves, Jackie walked out on stage, finding the steps that led her to her place at the foot, a couple feet lower than the stage so the audience could clearly see the performance but the performers could see her conducting. She waved to the few claps as an announcer began reading, “And for the final performance of the night, we have ‘Gotta Be You’, performed by the following seniors…” Jackie took a deep breath, arranging the sheet music in front of her as the seniors’ names were read off. This was it.

“Accompanied by Liam Payne, freshman, Harry Styles, freshman, Niall Horan, freshman, Louis Tomlinson, freshman, and Zayn Malik, freshman. Written and arranged by freshman Jackie Winter.” He finished and stepped back into the curtains, disappearing as the spotlight disappeared and polite applause sounded. As they quieted, the curtains rose, a soft light blue light shining down on the stage. The orchestra was already there, positioned in a half circle, illuminated as their slow melody began. Jackie kept her hands slow, conducting them along, and then Liam stepped out from the shadows on his cue, sliding in between the orchestra’s chairs, perfectly on time. Jackie smirked, like always.

“I can see it in your eyes girl, you’re disappointed, cause I’m the foolish one that you anointed with your heart. I tore it apart.” He walked forward to center stage, freezing with his hands down at his sides, easy. “And girl, what a mess I’ve made upon your innocence, and no woman in the world deserves this, but here I am, asking you for one more chance.”

And suddenly Harry was there, coming forward to stand directly next to Liam as the orchestra slowly picked up pace, “Can we fall one more time? Stop the tape, and rewind. Oh, and if you walk away, I know I’ll fade, cause there is nobody else.” 

And Jackie raised her hands, the orchestra launching into the chorus as the other boys slowly appeared behind him, Harry belting out, “It’s gotta be you, only you. It’s got to be you. Oh, only you.”

She lowered her hands, signaling the drummer to begin his soft beat as Liam began singing again, the other boys taking a step back. 

“Now girl, I hear it in your voice and how it trembles, when you speak to me I don’t resemble who I was. You’ve almost had enough. And your actions speak louder than your words, and you’re about to break from all you’ve heard. But don’t be scared, I ain’t going nowhere.”

Jackie allowed herself a small smile to Liam before looking to Zayn, who was stepping forward now, soulful voice sliding across the notes while Liam’s voice blended in perfectly behind him, “I’ll be here by your side. No more fears, no more crying. But if you walk away I know I’ll fade, cause there is nobody else.”

“It’s gotta be you.” The other boys stepped forward once again, Harry, Liam and Zayn leading the chorus while Niall and Louis chanted soft ‘Hey, hey’s in the background. “Only you. It’s got to be you, only you.”

And then her hands were changing their movement, directing the two violinists who were beginning a more complex melody, and Zayn stepped forward, the other boys continuing the chants as he sang, the expression on his face matching perfectly to the tone, “Can we try one more, one more time? One more, one more time? Can we try one more, one more time? I’ll make it better.” The other boys echoed around him, and then all music cut out except for Harry stepping forward and the other boys chanting behind him, completely a cappella.

“Cause it’s gotta be you. It’s gotta be you, only you, only you.” And the drum began in again, leading up to Jackie swinging her arms upward, and the entire orchestra and band was playing while all of the boys joined in one last, triumphant chorus.

“It’s gotta be you, only you. It’s got to be you, oh, only you.”

Their voices faded out as they stepped backwards into the shadows again, orchestra fading until there was absolutely nothing but silence.

And then there was thunderous applause.

Jackie froze, breathless, eyes wide. Was this happening?

People were screaming, whistling, shouting, all while the applause was literally battering her, she could physically feel the sound waves coming from the hundreds of people in the auditorium. She turned around slowly, smile breaking across her face as a spotlight hit her and she watched them clap.

But then her song was beginning again, and what? Confused, she spun around, and there was Harry and Louis sprinting towards her, grabbing her arms and hurrying her onstage. They shoved her forward and she practically fell into Liam’s embrace as the orchestra continued in some sort of impromptu encore. She held tightly onto him for a moment, using his warmth, his arms, to steady herself. 

Then she was turning, smiling, holding her arms out on either side of her. Because this was it, this was everything she had hoped for. Her heart and soul had gone into this song, these boys, this performance, and now she was about to see just what it would get her. The boys gathered on either side of her, and with complete happiness, she noticed Alice and Perrie had been brought out as well. Because while officially they weren’t on the list of people who created this, she would have never been able to pull this off without them. And her eyes travelled over absolutely everyone, eyes almost filling up with tears.

Perrie, on the end, looking at nothing but Zayn, who in turn only had eyes for her, just as they had almost as long as they had known each other.

Niall, arm thrown around Zayn’s shoulder, other arm wrapped tightly around Alice’s waist as he was beaming, laughing at everything, laughing just because he could. Because it was Niall, and everything made him happy. Especially the girl next to him, who was sporting a giant smile of her own as she looked between Niall, the audience, and Jackie. 

Jackie shot a grin back and turned to her left, where Harry and Louis were on the end, holding onto each other and looking at each other as if those two were the only thing that mattered. Harry caught her eye, giving her a small nod, then turned to look at the audience.

And then there was Liam. Liam, who had been by her from the start of it all, who had been there when she needed him most. Because truly, as the song had suggested, there was nobody else.

So, with one more smile to the audience, she bowed, everyone onstage bowing along with her, and the applause sounded back even louder as they stood. She wiped her lone tear away, and never had she ever been more proud of anything they had ever done.

Eventually the curtains had to close, and all of the seniors went out for their last bow. As soon as that was over, Jackie was running through the crowd, congratulating the seniors, finding any and every single one of the people who had been a part of her performance and hugging them and thanking them endlessly for being a part of it. They all hugged her back and insisted it was all because of her, but she brushed off every compliment with another thank you and a passionate hug. She made her way through the crowds of people, practically in tears as she realized how happy she was.

And suddenly there was Liam. Liam Liam Liam.

And instantly she was running towards him, throwing her arms around him, the tears finally spilling as she screamed, “We did it! We did it! We fucking did it!” He laughed and spun her around, arms squeezing her tight tight tight and all she could think about was Liam. 

“Jackie! Jackie!” His warm laugh brought her back down to earth, slowed her spinning head. “Jackie, we can celebrate later, and I know we will. Actually, I promise we will, Louis and Niall practically bought out the liquor store.” Jackie giggled, and Liam smiled down at her, “But, wipe your makeup, it’s smudging. And there’s some people outside who want to speak to you.” Ignoring her puzzled look, he put his hand on the small of her back and led her out into the hallway, where immediately she was bombarded with “Congratulations!” and “Great job, Jackie!” and “Fantastic performance, Miss Winter!” She waved back to all of them, saying thanks, all while being led along by Liam. They stopped at the end of the hallway, Liam clearing his throat. 

“Excuse me, sir?”

The three older men turned around, stopping their discussion they were having with her Music Theory professor, who had also been partly in charge of tonight’s events.

“Ah, Liam! I see you found Miss Winter!” One of them said, offering his hand forward.

Jackie took it slowly, a careful smile on her face. “Call me Jackie, please.”

He smiled. “Of course, Jackie.” He stood back, hand going back to his pocket. “My name’s Steven Carson, I’m the head of the school of Music Production at Emerson College, in Boston.”

Jackie’s mouth immediately dropped open, and she’s sure Alice would have immediately commented for her to fix it. Immediately. But. Emerson College. THE college she was dreaming of. “THE Emerson College? No way! That’s like, my dream grad school!”

Steven laughed, “I’m glad to hear it! We think you’d be a wonderful addition to our graduate program when the time comes.”

And it took a moment to sink in. “Graduate program?”

He nodded. “We’d like you offer you early admission. Once you’re done with your schooling here, you’re welcome to come to Emerson to finish out your education, and we’ll save a spot for you. All we need is your verbal agreement.”

Jackie’s eyes were so wide, her veins on fire as excitement coursed through her. She looked to her professor, then to Liam, who was smiling widely, then to Steven once again. “Of course! Absolutely! Yes!”

Steven laughed, and that’s when the other men stepped forward. The one in a gray suit offered his hand first, “And we’re Jonathan and Chris Talbot. We’re representatives for Capitol Records.”

“Capitol Records? Katy Perry’s and The Beatles’ and Elton John’s and the Beastie Boys’ label?” Jackie burst out. She couldn’t help herself as she shook hands with both of them. Chris smiled back at her, “The one and the same!”

“We’d like to offer a proposition.” Jonathan continued, smirking. “We really liked what we saw out there. That arrangement was incredible for someone your age. What we want to do is offer you an internship at the start of your junior year, and who knows?” He shrugged, shooting her a smile. “If we like what we see, we may just offer you a job!”

Jackie used every single ounce of self control within her body to not scream right then and there.

“Oh my God, yes!” She breathed, clasping her hands together in front of her so she didn’t jump forward right then and hug all of them. “I gladly accept. I do. Thank you, so so so much. Really.” 

Somehow she got through the next couple minutes of conversation without embarrassing herself, and as soon as they left, she was bouncing up and down, hugging everyone in sight and crying again. Liam followed along behind her, caught up in her excitement. He was so happy for her, so unbearably happy. His heart clenched every time he caught a glimpse of that smile, that wonderful, beaming, all encompassing smile.

And that smile never left her face.

Not then, not as she ran to tell her friends the news, and not that night.

She stood on the table, bottle in hand, shouting her thanks to everyone in the house (which pretty much included the entire Music Production program). Liam and Louis grabbed her off the table as everyone cheered back, Liam insisting she was going to hurt herself.

And she kissed him. She kissed him with all she had, all she would ever have, because he was all she would ever truly need in order to be happy. No matter where the future was leading, she had Liam. Solid, steady, supportive Liam, there to keep her feet on the ground when she got too carried away.

And Zayn kissed Perrie, smiling into her lips, because he knew he had found the one person to chase away his inner demons, worth changing for. He was her badboy-but-secretly-a-softie, and she was his angel.

And Louis kissed Harry. Through him he had learned it was okay to be yourself, to never be afraid of chasing after what makes you happy. And although it had taken him quite a long time to get there, Harry was so so happy that he did.

And Alice kissed Niall, surprising him and wrapping her arms around his neck. No matter how hard they fought, how different they were, how much they pushed each other to be better, they would work through it, and they would succeed. Because, simply put, they were meant to be. And that was all either of them needed to know to get through the night.

Jackie finally pulled away, turning to look at her friends, new and old, surrounding her at this moment. It was then and there that she decided her mom had initially been right.

College is where you make the friends that will last a lifetime, and where you find the person you want to be.

 

 

 

 

Ten years later found them at Niall and Alice’s wedding. They had finally agreed on the date and the dress and the venue, marking it as one of the most publicly talked about weddings, save for Harry and Louis’, which was just the year before. Jackie was one of the major writers and producers at Capitol Records, about to start a new label. First up on the list of bands she wanted to sign: One Direction, now a worldwide sensation, and growing more popular by the day. Perrie and Alice had gone to work at the New York College for the arts, helping other young adults to start on their way, just as they had long ago.

Their children would grow up to become successful in their own rights, even one of Harry and Louis’ sons marrying Liam and Jackie’s daughter. But it didn’t matter that the press had watched them their whole lives. It didn’t matter that tough times happened. It didn’t matter that they would grow old someday and have to stop touring.

They had their group. They had each other. And they had their music. And that was all any of them needed.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos, comments, love ya! 
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at suchbullshitmuchstraight


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